By Sue Siebens
Why does bullying exist? Why do we get bullied?
Mostly, we think of bullying as an interaction between two people or small groups. Like all social interactions, bullying has two sides: the bully and the target. Bullying happens at all levels, from playgrounds and classrooms, within marriages, families, work and community spaces, between government and courts and the citizens they are supposed to serve and amid municipalities, states and countries.
BULLYING IS NEVER OKAY! But sadly, we can find the mistreatment and abuse of someone vulnerable by someone more powerful all around us.
The Bully
Bullying starts with the wrong choices that the bully makes.
Why some people bully is commonly related to past trauma, abuse, violence, abuse, neglect, or many other factors that may combine with anxiety or depression.[1] Many resources on bullying focus on the bully and their need to do their work to stop. And rightly so. They can for example use Emotional Resolution or EmRes and quell the causes of their physically, mentally or socially threatening behaviors.
When triggered into fear about their status or safe enough to bully someone, the intimidator is experiencing emotion from a past trauma that was not fully processed. That emotional imprint remains in the body, ready to be triggered by the subconscious based on cues in the current environment. So, while the sensory prompt is now, the bully relives their emotional history and tries to survive the moment by acting out.
Their target has nothing to do with the bully’s trauma and pain. The bully’s subconscious is reminded of a similarity, sometimes a vague resemblance, and throws them into an emotional maelstrom. The bully can continue by acting aggressively toward the target. OR the bully can choose this opportunity to resolve the triggered emotion with Emotional Resolution and eliminate the old emotional imprint that caused the trigger.
The Target
Now, let’s look at the other side of bullying. While the bully started it and should stop, the victim should do something about it as well. People who tend to get bullied are vulnerable in some way. They may have some of these characteristics:
· Isolated, have fewer friends, are rejected by their peers, lack immediate social support
· Anxious, introverted or submissive, lacking self-esteem, are easy to manipulate
· Intelligent, gifted, stand out as creative, determined, attracting praise for their successes
· Unique physical appearance, whether short, tall, thin or large-bodied or have glasses, large nose or ears, etc
· Popular or well-liked (bully believes that popularity is stolen from them or undeserved)
· Disability or illness, including mental, cognitive, physical
· Racial difference
· Religious or cultural beliefs
· Non-sis gender orientation [2]
So basically, bullies act out when they imagine themselves at a disadvantage and become jealous/threatened or think they can elevate themselves by pointing out a weakness in others. It’s a false comfort and power.
Suppose you fall into any of these situations and are on the receiving end of bullying. In that case, you don’t have to wait for them to determine that their behavior is wrong and unnecessary and finally stop.
Become neutral and indifferent to their attempts at bullying
If you resolve your feelings about the insecurities bullies focus on, their attempts to get under your skin will be futile, and they will leave you alone. If you are not reactive to their abuse, they will look for richer targets elsewhere.
All the emotional stuff that comes up as a result of being bullied must be resolved. They are intimately tied to the emotional events buried in you, reactive and triggerable. If you are teased and shamed about your smarts, race, big nose or lack of friends and feel bad about it in any way, these are emotions that need to be addressed and removed. Free yourself from the burden of these emotions that don’t serve you. These very same emotional events are the vehicle to releasing them.
Emotional Resolution, EmRes for short, is an emerging technique that completely resolves the unwanted emotions that arise in us. EmRes completes processing emotions stuck in our body from previous trauma using interoception, the perception of sensation inside our body.
With EmRes, we don’t have to know how, when, where, why or who was involved in the previous trauma. It doesn’t care about the past. It works with the present circumstances just enough to remember the emotion we are addressing. It gives the body the space it needs to clear the emotional debris. We become emotionally clear of that emotion when that situation occurs in our environment again.
When emotionally clear, we are more present in our current environment. Emotions are not clouding our way. We have more choices in what to say, act, and react.
Bullies no longer get triggered into bullying.
Victims no longer react to bullying.
We become empowered survivors of our past. We can write our own story and future.
The emotional processing that EmRes provides is a natural mechanism already within us. EmRes sessions with a professional EmRes practitioner or using Self-EmRes is the most incredible tool for managing our emotional life. The emotional relief is immediate and permanent.
Are you ready to get rid of bullying?
References
1. Potential Causes Of Bullying, https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/bullying/why-someone-is-picking-on-you-the-causes-of-bullying/
2. 10 Types of Kids Most Likely to Be Bullied, https://www.verywellfamily.com/reasons-why-kids-are-bullied-460777
Image by Graphix Made from Pixabay
About Sue
Sue Siebens uses Emotional Resolution, EmRes, to work at a fundamental level, where the roots of the illness, fear, and pain can be accessed and resolved. Sue teaches and writes to raise awareness about this new technology so that as many people as possible can find relief and peace in their life. Sue is based in Ft Worth, Tx, USA.