Effective self-awareness and self-control, aspects of emotional intelligence, are key to connecting with and managing our emotions in the present moment. We all have areas where we lack these skills.
Often what we perceive as our identity and emotional reactions are different than how others perceive us and our actions. What we characterize as hard-working with a passion for order, might appear as controlling and perfectionist, or caring for others as not respecting other’s boundaries, or being sensitive as emotionally distant. [1] There is a disconnect between our subconscious and conscious awareness and conduct. Our internal world is subtly out of sync with our external reality.
These are our EMOTIONAL BLIND SPOTS.
They are also displayed in the little paradoxes that we keep manifesting: [2, 3, 4]
Having the same troublesome relationships with different people
Ending up in the same vexing job situation even after changing jobs
Being a habitual people pleaser, often at our own expense
Never (rarely) apologizing, accepting blame or admitting flaws
Ducking real intimacy with jokes or other diversions
Being a loner because social situations are never exactly right, they don’t feel right
Assuming lead roles even when it is not our project or our house.
Getting angry or disappointed in the face of criticism
These repeated social situations just seem to happen. We do not know how we got here, don’t want to be here, but here we are again. The results of our actions conflict with our conscious wishes, but apparently in direct correlation with our subconscious desires.
The current research in neuroscience has shown that emotions are culturally based and socially learned from our first families. We develop emotional concepts using the words as shortcuts to simplify and organize our emotional experiences. Emotional concepts help us pool the many aspects of anger, for instance, into concept groups. Concepts help us more easily recognize emotions in ourselves and others. So, a person that is red-faced, screaming, jumping up and down, and appears miserable, according to our culture’s body and facial cues is probably angry. And likewise, a person that is red-faced, screaming jumping up and down, and appears to be having a pleasant experience doing so is probably super excited and happy, if that is acceptable behavior for a happy person in our society.
Emotional blind spots are emotional blocks or areas of underdeveloped emotional growth that we carry subconsciously. If we were never taught or were exposed to some emotional management behavior by our emotion teachers, then we cannot express those emotional concepts. For instance, if our parents did not filter their thoughts when talking to others, it is likely we also lack filters and we overshare or offend others without knowing what we said. Blocked emotions happened as a result of a specific trauma that put the kibosh on emotional learning and awareness
Identifying our emotional blind spots are paramount to our overall happiness. They are the bumps and obstacles in our life. They create situations where we are emotional but not emotionally connected to the reality of our situation. These are the moments when our Emotional Intelligence is lacking.
How do we take the blinders off?
Understanding the “why” is not as important as “what”. What matters is noticing those behaviors and situations where we are out of sync with reality. Where are we:
avoiding people, conversations, or situations because they might make us feel uncomfortable?
in denial about anything
consistently in the same unsatisfactory social situation, job, relationship
expressing emotions in an over-the-top fashion
being misunderstood, attacked or devalued
All these cases are produced by subconscious emotions that are buried in the body.
Emotional Resolution is a natural method of resolving emotions that we cannot see. And it does so with permanent effect. By working with the blind-spot situations and behaviors, Emotional Resolution eliminates the emotions that block self-awareness and our use of self-control.
Some elements of past traumas are embedded in the sensory pathways of the body. Subconscious memories linked to those traumas are aroused when a similar situation is encountered in our lives. In anticipation of similar outcomes, the connected sensory pathways are charged and the emotion reexperienced.
When the prediction is wrong, we have an emotion that is not in sync with our reality. When the triggered emotion is not consciously processed by the mind, we have a blind spot.
Emotional Resolution removes emotional blocks and subconscious triggers, allowing us to employ self-awareness and self-control naturally and without effort. Once the subconscious emotions are resolved, we can quickly learn new emotional concepts, vacant from our previous experience. They will feel like the skills we have always had. We will use them naturally, without even noticing, like breathing.
An Emotional Resolution, EmRes, session addresses an emotion-situation individually. It uses the body’s natural ability of interoception, feeling internal sensations, and a proprietary method, guided by a professional. Sessions do not require personal history or retelling of personal details. There is no retriggering or trauma or flashbacks. Clients are fully conscious and self-aware.
Emotional Resolution sessions are a pleasant conversation between client and EmRes professional to bring resolution to the buried emotional imprint and eliminating the blind spot.
Are you ready to take off your blinders?
References
How Blind Spots Plague Even The Best Leaders, https://www.lollydaskal.com/leadership/how-blind-spots-plague-even-the-best-leaders/
Seeing Your Emotional Blind Spots, https://marthabeck.com/2011/11/seeing-your-emotional-blind-spots/
Blind Spots, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement/201805/blind-spots
Conquering Emotional Blind Spots Is Challenging, But Worth It, https://www.huffingtonpost.ca/entry/blindspots-personality-resolutions-big-ideas-2020_ca_5e14aac2e4b0b2520d287324
About Sue
Sue Siebens is an intuitive holistic healer based in Dallas, Texas. In her practice, she uses techniques that work at a fundamental level, where the roots of the illness, fear, and pain can be accessed and resolved. Sue teaches and blogs to broadcast and raise awareness about these new technologies so that as many people as possible can find relief and peace in their life.
