Emotional self-care is our actions to manage our inner feelings and emotions.
Most strategies we practice today only give temporary relief: breathing, exercise, wine, food, sex, sternly forcing ourselves to be present, avoiding the triggers altogether and so forth. Sometimes we think that knowing and understanding the root cause will somehow lessen the discomfort by attributing it outward. But these do not seem to deactivate future occurrences either.
As humans, we all have emotions. We should accept our feelings, even the very uncomfortable ones, as a part of life.
Once we simply and genuinely accept them, we stop experiencing them as pain or blocks.
What stops us?
Why do we hesitate to fully accept, painful, awkward emotions as just a small part of who we are?
1. "I am My Emotion." Our emotions can become our identity. Since our uncomfortable feelings seem to be with us “all the time”, they are sometimes seen as a large part of our personality and out of our control. And we believe our personality is a fixed thing, as unchangeable as the size of our feet.
2. The Sigma. Shame and fear are huge demotivators. Currently, our culture devalues people that display or share that they have emotional issues. So we hide and deal with it as best we can.
3. Lack of Awareness. We do not notice that every triggered emotion we experience in our day, large or small, stacks like a weight on our physical and mental wellbeing. Small stresses add up to significant burdens. Over time these added stressors will emerge in our lives as compulsive behaviors and contribute to chronic illness.
4. Fear of the Unknown. Even if a change is good, not knowing what we are trading for can hold us back. What will fill the vacuum of the resolved emotion? Something better? Something worse?
5. "I can reason myself out of this." As humans, our go-to move is to use our cognitive mind to figure out what our subconscious mind is doing. Otherwise known as the "if I just knew why or where these feelings came from, they would vanish on their own." If this strategy worked, I'd have no reason to write this blog, and we'd all be entirely emotionally regulated.
6. "If I am offended, it's the offender's fault." And the offender may be at fault. But the trigger belongs to us. It takes two to tango, and bullies need martyrs. Lose your triggers and stop being a target. And yes, the bully needs to work on their stuff too! But that is separate from the work we need to do.
We are not our emotions! Emotional ghosts from our past make up a large part of our self-identity and reaction to any event or circumstance. Sometimes we identify with what we feel too closely: "I am angry/lonely/shy/depressed/broken/etc." When we exorcise these emotional demons, we uncover who we are—the unified self that is present and content in our current circumstances.
Every emotion we feel is connected to the situation that triggered it. Our subconscious has linked something about the current environment with an unprocessed emotion for triggered emotions. This triangle, environmental stimulus, subconscious memory and emotional scar, keep the triggers on repeat.
We can not do anything about the subconscious memory or the environments we find ourselves. They are out of our control. What we can change is the emotional body memory—the scar.
Emotional Resolution, EmRes, uses the innate ability of our body to integrate emotions. Our body cleans up the neurotransmitters that signal we are experiencing emotion as naturally as breathing. But during high-stress events, our body may not have the time to do this cleanup, and the emotional signals remain as the emotional body memory/scar mentioned previously. Using a precise protocol, EmRes gives the body time and space to do the work that was left undone.
When we have uncomfortable feelings, it is our body saying, “Hey, you have an unprocessed emotion here. Please do pay attention.”
We can use EmRes to let go of these afflictions permanently. With Emotional Resolution,
· My true character and genius are uncovered—my worldview shifts to solace and happiness.
· I do not need to hide. I can honestly accept my emotions because they are not me—they are just old injuries. Not my fault, just my responsibility.
· I work triggered emotions as I notice them, making my life clearer and more present.
· Toxic relationships are not a part of my life. I don’t attract those experiences. If I react, then I have EmRes to work it out.
· Resolving emotions is a great thing! I am no longer dragged down by demons from the past.
· I don’t have to understand or know why I have these triggers. Just having them allows me to eliminate them.
Are you ready to love who you are?
Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash
Sue Siebens uses Emotional Resolution, EmRes, to work at a fundamental level, where the roots of the illness, fear, and pain can be accessed and resolved. Sue teaches and writes to raise awareness about this new technology so that as many people as possible can find relief and peace in their life. Sue is based in Dallas, Tx, USA.