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Valuing Happiness

By Sue Siebens

Without question, our lives are more enjoyable without emotional triggers.

Primary emotions are warnings about imminent danger and broken boundaries. They are instinctive and natural reactions to a change in our environment. They are the initial interpretation of that change [3]. These are important messages and indispensable as we detect threats or opportunit our lives.

Our body sends us an emotional message which is felt and “handled” by the body. They are over in a flash, and our mind is working on any necessary proactive or defensive actions.

On the other hand, emotional triggers are a secondary reflex to the emotion that just happened. They follow primary emotions so fast they may feel like one. But triggers result from our subconscious pulling an unprocessed emotional memory into the present situation. It is associating the current experience with a high-stress event from the past. The result can be increased anxiety, unexplained anger, crying, feelings of panic, and other uncomfortable physical symptoms. [1]

Emotional triggers result in

· feelings of betrayal,

· unjust treatment,

· helplessness or loss of control,

· feeling insecure,

· being unwanted or unneeded,

· feeling soothered or too needed,

· reacting defensively when our beliefs are challenged,

· experiencing unjust treatment

· feeling a loss of independence. [2]

Large and small expressions of these feelings often fill our day as we interact with friends, family, co-workers and our community. From the moment we wake until we sleep again, it’s a constant barrage of stress-inducing emotions. It is so pervasive that it feels “normal.”

But when we notice these feelings, we often go to great lengths to make them stop! So many of our behaviors and addictions are in place to calm the emotional noise in our lives.

This is the opposite of what we want to experience!

What would it be like to live in contentment and happiness? How strong we’d be if we could tolerate unrestrained and unguarded feelings of being loved and loving ourselves and others.

We can keep all the personal boundaries that keep us from being bullied or someone’s doormat and be happy! We don’t need an official mental/emotional diagnosis to work on improving our emotional well-being.

Using Emotional Resolution, EmRes, to improve your emotional life is relatively easy, and the results are permanent. So what is stopping us? Here are a few untruths about emotions:

· If I show my feelings, others will think I’m weak.

· Emotions are unnecessary. I should do my best to ignore/suppress them.

· Whatever I feel is accurate and I must trust them.

· To be authentic, I shouldn’t change the way I feel

· Drama and extreme emotions are the spice of life. Life would be boring without them [4]

· If I acknowledge my emotions fully, they will go away

· I can use coping methods for temporary relief such as meditation, workout, yoga, a glass of wine, a little weed, etc

· Working on emotions involves digging up a past.

· I have to know the cause of my emotions to heal them.

Primary emotions, as mentioned earlier, are instinctive, natural and necessary. There is no need to change them.

The secondary, triggered emotions are the factors that cause the problems. EmRes is an emerging body of work that uses vicero-somatic quieting to address the emotional memories that cause triggering. By letting the body complete the processing of these emotional imprints, the subconscious will no longer create associations with the current experience—no more triggering.

How different would life be if we were emotionally present—connected with our current circumstances instead of being reactive because of past unprocessed emotions?

Emotional health is essential at every stage of life. It affects how we think, feel and act. Our emotional health heavily influences how we relate to others, handle stress, and make healthy choices.[5]

EmRes will elevate your emotional health. It is based on current understandings of neuropsychology. In calm sessions with an EmRes Practitioner, the triggered emotion can be processed. By enabling the body to metabolize the emotional memory, the imprint is removed. The next time that situation happens again, there will be no secondary emotion.

Imagine living where your emotions depend on you—and you alone. You are...

· Seeking internal validation and self-assurance

· Processing hard feeling as they arrive

· Comfortable in social situations

· Letting go of societal standards of beauty and diet culture

· Asking for support instead of “being fine”

· Holding my boundaries and using my voice if there are conflicts

· Valuing my self-worth separately from my productivity

· Celebrating my accomplishments without comparison to others

You feel stable, grounded and happy. You are aware and respond to events around you. But you react to the present, not the past.

Are you ready to be emotionally autonomous?


2. How to Identify and Manage Your Emotional Triggers, Crystal Raypole,

3. Primary and secondary emotions (With examples), Hanan Parvez,

About Sue

Sue Siebens uses Emotional Resolution, EmRes, to work at a fundamental level, where the roots of the illness, fear, and pain can be accessed and resolved. Sue teaches and writes to raise awareness about this new technology so that as many people as possible can find relief and peace in their life. Sue is based in Dallas, Tx, USA.

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