By Sue Siebens
We want to control what is happening in our life and to us personally. Who do we know that truly goes with the flow at all times? Nobody!
We don't want to live in chaos. The need to feel safe is a natural desire. Feeling like we are in control gives us the feeling of order and stability, leading to better physical and psychosocial health. [1]
Adopting mild manners and habits that moderate our behavior allows us to live as functioning, happy humans.
Being domineering, oppressive, abusive and manipulative is a more intense level. It's all on a range of controlling ourselves and others. Controlling behaviors become fear-based--seemingly necessary to our perceived security and protection.
All fear that lingers is a triggered emotion. Triggered emotions cloud our current events with past unprocessed emotions.
· Being unwilling to adjust to new circumstances
· Micromanaging others
· Interrupting others or dominating conversations
· Being tight or hoarding with money
· Expressing displeasure with a "silent treatment."
· Manipulating or lying to get a desired outcome
These are all examples of over-control. It all comes down to having triggered emotions that are muddling the present.
Control is also challenged by life-stressing events such as divorce/relationship breakups, death, moving, buying/selling a house and other significant financial change.
Don't Choose To Be Confused About A Situation That Is Not Confusing
Living in the present and responding to current events is where we are most effective and happy. Triggered emotions are unprocessed emotions that pull the past into the present, confusing our choice of action and behavior.
Getting rid of triggered emotions clears our perception and feelings about our immediate environment, the actions of others and our role in whatever is happening now.
We can do this by giving ourselves the time and space to process the past stuff. It is quickly and easily done by using Emotional Resolution or EmRes. EmRes uses the experiences of triggered emotions that have happened recently to access the unprocessed. Using interoception, sensing physical sensations in the body related to emotions, EmRes clears out the past so that it can't invade the present.
Typically we don't want to work on emotions. Usually, having them in the first place is bad enough, and who wants to revisit the unpleasant? But know that EmRes is the most straightforward way to do emotional work.
Each and every session is effective and brings relief.
Are you ready to control yourself more softly?
References
1. Why Anyone would want to control you, https://psychcentral.com/blog/why-anyone-would-want-to-control-you
About Sue
Sue Siebens uses Emotional Resolution, EmRes, to work at a fundamental level, where the roots of the illness, fear, and pain can be accessed and resolved. Sue teaches and writes to raise awareness about this new technology so that as many people as possible can find relief and peace in their life. Sue is based in Dallas, Tx, USA.