Nearly every sport starts with play inbounds, within the defined confines of the game, and stops or pauses when a game’s play goes out of bounds, outside the game rules. Usually, there are written guidelines that declare what is inbound and what is out. If only life were so simple with rules written down and consequences fair and equally delivered. But no, our life and relationships are messy and complicated. But there are still limits and boundaries for our actions and behaviors toward others and ourselves. Or there should be. “Boundaries are a way to take care of ourselves. Boundaries make our expectations clear, so others know what to expect from us and how we want to be treated. Boundaries are the foundation for happy, healthy relationships.”[1] Boundaries can be both physical (personal space, touch, privacy or sexual contact) and emotional (the line between your feelings and other’s feelings), at the same time and separately. They are bidirectional and are about being respectful and taking responsibility—both saying no and hearing no.[2] I didn’t learn what a boundary was until I was 50 years old. My original family’s dynamic didn’t allow for boundaries. We were constantly in each other's business. None of us appreciated how miserable that was for everyone involved or anyone within ear-shot. Often we walk around with half-formed ideas about what we will do and tolerate in our relationships. It is a fuzzy area for many people. Often things need to go quite bad for a long time before a poorly formed boundary is activated enough to be felt and enforced. But there are always signs that boundaries have been broken. Boundary awareness and its ripple effects When someone crosses our boundaries, we have an emotional response. When we feel the initial emotion it’s how we know something has happened that doesn’t match our core beliefs and needs. We get annoyed, offended, defensive or angry. And then quite rapidly it can devolve into feelings of guilt and anxiety. Later we can also feel tired, depressed, rejected and abandoned. If you don’t have well-formed boundaries, can’t enforce them or have over-the-top emotions when you try to hold that line in the sand, then more is going on than just boundary work. These secondary boundary-triggered emotions are a sign that an unintegrated emotion is in play as well. For example: · I can get miffed if someone invades my personal space unnecessarily and use my words to let them know it’s too close and move away. But if I get angry and start cursing at them, this action is not in response to my present circumstances. I’m pulling past trauma forward into my current reality. · Suppose I lack assertiveness skills and don’t stand up for myself when I overhear gossip about myself. In that case, I’m not being nice and avoiding someone else’s hurt feelings when I don’t speak up. I’m experiencing an emotion that is keeping me from being in my power and defending myself. This emotion is not rooting in the present moment. It is being pulled forward from past emotional experiences that need to be resolved and integrated Here are some signs that you lack good boundaries, 1. difficult or dramatic relationships (codependent relationships) 2. decision making is a real challenge (lost sense of self) 3. hate letting people down (can’t say no/people pleaser) 4. two words: guilt and anxiety (ongoing guild and fear) 5. tired for no reason (mild depression) 6. your filter and radar is off when sharing (oversharing) 7. You are constantly the victim of situations (taken advantage of/overlooked/blamed) 8. You are a little annoyed most of the time (going against your values and desires non-stop) 9. You secretly feel that others don’t show you respect (people don’t know how to act around you—you haven’t set boundaries to let them know how) 10. You might just be passive-aggressive (saying no when you want to say yes, manipulating/punishing others for your choices) 11. You often wonder who you really are (basing your wants and needs on outside opinion) 12. Your secret fear is of being rejected or abandoned (a private belief that being boundary-less will lead to love) [3] Remove the barriers to boundaries It’s not enough to understand that boundaries define the necessary rules in our successful relationship. Just like in sports, boundaries let everyone know how the game is played. As mentioned before, not enforcing our own or recognizing other’s boundaries exposes a triggered emotion that is in the way. Emotions are triggered when a high-stress event’s emotions aren’t processed completely. The traumatic event didn’t allow time or opportunity for the body to clean up any “in-flight” emotion. In the future, the memory of that event has an unintegrated emotion. It can flare up when our current environment offers even minimally matching sensory stimuli. And there is no judgment here. Triggered emotions are just your body saying, “Hey, there is an un-integrated emotion here, seemingly related to what’s happening right now. Maybe you should take care of it?” It’s similar to a different circumstance when your body says, “Hey, there is a hole in your skin, and blood is oozing out. Maybe you should take care of it?” Self-care is needed and necessary, whether it’s physical or emotional! Emotional Resolution, EmRes, resolves un-integrated emotions. This is your tool for emotional self-care. The current emotional event is the entry point and GPS to the emotional root that needs resolving. Knowing or understanding the whats, wheres or whens of the high-stress event that laid down the emotion is not needed or required. Resolving emotions with EmRes can happen in the moment of the emotion or later in a session with an EmRes Professional. By integrating embedded emotional memory, the way is clear to express our own and respect other’s boundaries. Without the triggered emotion, you will detect when a boundary is crossed more clearly. And you will be able to defend your needs and core beliefs naturally and without emotional backlash. Game Rules are Awesome When you can set boundaries, you’re more self-aware and take better care of yourself. Because you learn how and when to say no, you’re a better communicator, are less stressed and angry and to things you actually want to do. can say no. And as a result, you become a more trusting and understanding person and are better friend and partner. [4] “When you're compassionate toward yourself about what you can tolerate, you're better able to express that to other people who have their boundaries they want to follow.” [4] Be the MVP in your life game. Set Boundaries in your relationships and respect the boundaries of others. And if you find yourself out-of-bounds—Use EmRes to remove the emotional obstacles so that your tournament play stays in-bounds. Will you be ready at game time? References 1. How to set boundaries with toxic people, Sharon Martin, https://www.livewellwithsharonmartin.com/set-boundaries-toxic-people/ 2. Healthy vs. Unhealthy Boundaries, Elenor Beeslaar, https://healthyrelationshipsinitiative.org/healthy-vs-unhealthy-boundaries/ 3. 12 Signs you lack health boundaries (and why you need them, Sheri Jacobson, https://www.harleytherapy.co.uk/counselling/healthy-boundaries.htm 4. 10 great things that happen when you set boundaries, Lindsay Holmes, https://www.huffpost.com/entry/setting-boundaries-benefits_n_57043126e4b0b90ac27088bb Photo by Gemma Chua-Tran on Unsplash About Sue Sue Siebens is an intuitive holistic healer based in Dallas, Texas. In her practice, she uses techniques that work at a fundamentallevel, where the roots of the illness, fear, and pain can be accessed and resolved. Sue teaches and writes to raise awareness about these new technologies so that as many people as possible can find relief and peace in their life.

“I had always believed that if somebody who worked with me went home feeling like a jerk for giving their time and their genuine effort, then it was me who had failed them—and in a very personal, fundamental way.” ― Anthony Bourdain How do you feel about your job? Much of our work experience is determined by the social interactions we find there. When we interview for a job, we often base our social compatibility on how well we interact with the hiring manager and other people in the recruiting process. But the job’s social culture is, of course, much more complex. And sometimes, we do not even consider these social aspects when looking for the next rung on our career ladder or seeking a paycheck to put food on the family table. But now you have this job that meets some of your needs, but some of the people are, let’s say, not compatible with your social norms or expectations. Coworkers that are gossips, cut-throat, name-droppers, credit-takers, bullies, and slackers can all trigger emotional reactions in us that take us off our best game at work. We cannot change them. We cannot even complain about them. Regardless of whistle-blower safety, complaining about them to the boss or HR often reflects poorly on us and makes further bad blood with the offender. So, what do we do? Finding a new job is not a solution—those same people will be there, with new names and faces. So, what do we do? We do not have to be a victim or coconspirator. We do have to recognize that the only thing that can change is us. If someone’s behavior triggers us, that is the place to start. Even though the coworker’s actions or behavior is not correct, our reaction is not based on the present situation. And strong reactions can lead to disruptive behavior, which looks bad on us regardless of the cause. Recognizing that we have a disruptive emotion is essential. Triggered emotions give us a place to start and a GPS to fix the problem. Emotions that “disturb” us are reactions to a past wound. At some point, we experienced a high-stress event. Emotion(s) from that event remain unintegrated—dormant but readily activated by environmental queues. Likely, we won’t’ remember when the original high-stress event happened, or not accurately if we do. In times of high stress, the cognitive mind is taken offline. But our subconscious mind is continuously recording everything that happens. And our body usually takes care of the physical sensations associated with emotions. But there may not be time or opportunity to do it in times of high stress. What remains are the unprocessed memories of emotions in our bodies triggered when our subconscious perceives something in our current environment that is “similar enough” to our past trauma. Simplistically, disruptive emotions are messages from our body saying, “Hey, there is an unprocessed body memory here; maybe you should take care of it when you get a chance.” Getting back to the situation with the coworker(s): We are not excusing the coworker here. We are taking care of our side of the equation. It takes two to tango; Bullies seek out what they perceive as weak links to overpower and control; For every “winner,” there is a loser, etc. If you are receiving something “uncomfortable,” then clearing your side of the emotional equation is your next task. Being in a triggered emotion effectively blocks our cognitive mind from being aware of and navigating the various possibilities available to us. You are temporarily caught up in the emotion and are blinded to alternative actions. Removing the fog of emotion opens new vistas. When our subconscious becomes aware of something in our environment connected to a dormant unprocessed emotion, it will fire up that emotion as a prediction of how we should be feeling in a moment. It gives us an access vector to complete past business. By resolving the past emotion, we will not be thrown track. We will handle the present circumstance more effectively. By doing Self-EmRes in the moment or working on it in session with an EmRes Professional, the emotion is integrated, finally. The subconscious no longer has the body memory of physical sensations to trigger. You will be present in the situation the next time it happens and every time after that. EmRes in the Work Place Organizations and businesses exist to offer products and services to others and generally solve someone else’s “problems.” Personal conflicts and disagreements within the organization distract everyone from that purpose. Imagine the preparations and logistics involved in a $1M plus banquet at a large convention. The managers and staff would probably work for weeks or days before the event. On the day, everyone is going to work well over an eight-hour shift. It is a high-stress job environment with many things in motion on different schedules. If there are personal conflicts and disagreements between the staff, the day already starts from irritation. If managers are not emotionally resolved, they will not be as effective as possible when listening to staff concerns, selecting teams and pairing up those that will work best together, handling the unexpected and pivoting through changing conditions as the event progresses. Managers that are emotionally resolved can change the dynamic of the whole day by remaining calm in the fast-paced behind the scenes environment. With EmRes, their events will run like a well-oiled machine, and their staff will work for them like a highly-trained army. Now think about the high stress of nursing in a hospital emergency room. It is a tremendous job to be accurate and consistent with all the technical skills needed to assist their patients. With everything they see and do, they still strive to be present and compassionate with patients and family members. It is a lot. They must take care of themselves emotionally. If not, they can not be available to their own families and friends. Using EmRes to clear out the emotional disruptions they encounter daily is healthy emotional hygiene that prevents burnout and fatigue. And what about retail or any public-facing job. One significant drawback of working behind any counter that serves the public is taking verbal abuse from customers having a bad day before they walk into your store or department. As a good employee, you are supposed to stand there and smile and try to make the best of it. “The customer is always right.” And the bully customer knows you may have few choices beyond taking the ill-treatment or quit the job. EmRes to the rescue! Resolving disturbing emotions that surface during such brow-beatings allows you to react differently with the next disgruntled customer. Think of any emotional reaction you have to someone at your workplace—Resolve it! You’ll be glad you did. Image by Pamela Smith from Pixabay About Sue Sue Siebens is an intuitive holistic healer based in Dallas, Texas. In her practice, she uses techniques that work at a fundamentallevel, where the roots of the illness, fear, and pain can be accessed and resolved. Sue teaches and writes to raise awareness about these new technologies so that as many people as possible can find relief and peace in their life.

Rejection and I are Old Friends. --Michaela Watkins For some of us, chronic emotions have been with us for a long time. We have always been shy and anxious, for instance, or always had a temper. Our depression may have noticeably started in high school. Now 10, 20 or 30 years later, we know and expect the stages of depression that demand that we escape to our beds or allow us to get up and force our way through the day. Or we have a pain in our fingers, hips or knees that lingers in our life, limiting our activities. But there are plenty of reasons to get rid of chronic emotions. The stress of chronic painful emotions weakens the immune system and can lead to issue in the body. Starting with Freud almost a century ago, scientific studies have found that the “relationship between emotional and physical health is direct and reciprocal. Research has shown that over 80% of all physicians’ visits have to do with a socio-emotional challenge, while just only 16% could be considered solely pathophysiologic in nature.”[1]. In other words, our unwanted emotions are making us feel sick. Discomfort can become so familiar to us that we get sort of comfortable with them—even if we do not like the way we feel. They are known factors in our life. Often, when we humans get stuck, we do our best to ignore it and keep going—we are locked in an unchanging pattern. Being in a rut is its own problem. Tell-tale signs of being stuck in place are · Each day feels like ground-hog day—nothing to look forward to, same-ole-same-ole, they blur together · Too tired or unmotivated to do anything when you have free time · Fantasize about getting way—not just vacation · You want to change your life, add something new, but not sure where to start or what it will cost in time or energy · Getting sick of hearing yourself complain about your pain-emotional or physical · Even though you think you would be happier if you made a change, it is easier or more comfortable to stay in the same place and mope about it. [2] Sound too harsh? Maybe. But if you recognize these signs, then perhaps you are rut-bound. Everyone's rut is different in quality, quantity, and scope. And ruts can be littered with emotional or physical pain. It is the miserable bits of life that we do not want but do not take action to change, even if we know how to do it. And so, we approach change carefully or avoid it altogether The willingness to change, to feel different and be different is a big deal. Allowing change in our life means that our relationship with the world and the people around us may be different. Friends, family members, caregivers, and everyone else may not treat us the same way, even if they love us as much as before. But, change can be scary. We do not know exactly what will happen. We do not know the precise fallout or consequences. Uncertainty can be unsettling. When we do not risk unwanted results—within reason, of course, then we also do not risk having something better happen. What of hope? What if something fantastic was available to us, but we hesitate to venture toward it? If we are willing to let go of our desire for and guaranteed perfect outcome, then we do not have to stay in the current miserable status quo. It does not take courage. Courage is too difficult to muster. We need to be fearless. Being fearless, again within reason, is moving forward through challenges and hurtles, being fully aware of any pitfalls and handling them without overwhelming emotion. How do we become an aware but fearless warrior in our own life and journey? When the uncertainty of transformation is an uncomfortable emotion, it is time to get rid of it. Emotional Resolution, EmRes, removes underlying emotional triggers that keep us from accepting change in our life. It is not essential to know what high-stress event laid down the emotion that remains unintegrated. But resyncing the subconscious memory, the unresolved emotion and the environmental stimuli will integrate the emotion and clear the way forward. Then EmRes sessions can get down to the business of addressing the chronic emotions and idiopathic complaints and pains that are making your life less than joyous. It sounds simple because it is. Really. Allow the change, and the difference will set you free. Are you ready to get out of your rut and then let go of your chronic misery? References 1. Consequences of Repression of Emotion: Physical Health, Mental Health and General Well Being, https://openaccesspub.org/ijpr/article/999 2. 10 Signs That You're in a Rut, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/surprise/201605/10-signs-youre-in-rut Image by Susann Mielke from Pixabay About Sue Sue Siebens is an intuitive holistic healer based in Dallas, Texas. In her practice, she uses techniques that work at a fundamentallevel, where the roots of the illness, fear, and pain can be accessed and resolved. Sue teaches and writes to raise awareness about these new technologies so that as many people as possible can find relief and peace in their life.

Celebration marks the passages in our life. They indicate a rite of passage, key events or breakthroughs in our life. It is, in large part, a social exercise of reinforcing an important event that has a positive impact on us. "The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate" – Oprah Winfrey Celebrating our successes helps us to 1. Learn to adapt 2. Develop a "success" mindset 3. Be motivated toward more successes 4. It feels good 5. Create happiness chemicals for general wellbeing 6. Sharing success increases everyone's stimulus and momentum[1] Usually, we know what events deserve a celebration. They carry exciting energy with them—it's part of the breakthrough experience. However, some breakthroughs, like successful emotional integration, don't carry the same excitement. But resolving emotions can have a considerable impact on your life. · Imagine getting angry every time a driver is "rude" to you on the road. If you resolved that buried emotional trigger, you could react calmly and drive peacefully from now on. Is that not a reason to celebrate? · Visualize being terrified to speak up in public. Through EmRes, whether the audience is 10 or 10,000, you can deliver your thoughts with a command of the subject and authority of opinion. How freeing and accomplished does that feel? · Think back to a special time with a departed loved one and remember the love and happy moments without being dragged into the sorrow of regret and loss. Is an uneventful memory reason to celebrate? When EmRes is used to resolve emotional difficulties, the situational trigger is "washed away." It is incredible when the unwanted emotion does not resurface. But the celebration energy is also absent. The new reaction/behavior feels so ordinary that it's sometimes hard to recognize that it was ever any other way. Symptom amnesia is forgetting the problems once they are gone. It's a typical response. Who needs the full awareness of a broken ankle's pain when the bone has long since healed properly. It's when we still limp that we know there is more healing to do. And so it is with emotions. If you still recall painful events or are triggered into uncomfortable feelings, then some emotional event has not been processed completely. Like that painful limp, triggered emotions point to a buried emotional wound that needs to be integrated. Emotional Resolution integrates buried emotions and dismantles their triggering mechanism. We may remember past triggering events, but the emotion no longer resurfaces in future situations. We feel normal where we used to get triggered. We handle the situation differently. There is no celebration energy for this great accomplishment. We feel more content, and our behavior reflects this shift. BUT THAT IS A REASON TO CELEBRATE!!! · You can stand looking at the tiniest speck on the kitchen counter and not launch into a fit of obsessive cleaning. Maybe you can wipe up that one speck, or perhaps it can wait for another time. What a shift in your behavior! · Sit at the dinner table, listening to the sounds others make with their mouths and bodies. You don't have to get disgusted or leave the room in horror. You can take it. Family time is so much nicer now! · As you lay in bed, your first reaction is not to pull the covers up and try to slip back into the numbness of sleep. You can get out of bed and get things done. Enjoy the freshness of life! · Imagine not having any unbearable emotions, like anger, fear, shame, depression or anxiety currently festering in your life. Gone, replaced by calm awareness and untroubled reactions. Yahoo! After ridding yourself of tormenting emotions, feeling calm and content is not nothing! Are you ready to CELEBRATE? References 1. Six Reasons You Should Celebrate Success, https://www.brilliantlivinghq.com/6-reasons-why-you-should-celebrate-success/ Image by Photo by Morgan Sessions on Unsplash About Sue Sue Siebens is an intuitive holistic healer based in Dallas, Texas. In her practice, she uses techniques that work at a fundamentallevel, where the roots of the illness, fear, and pain can be accessed and resolved. Sue teaches and blogs to broadcast and raise awareness about these new technologies so that as many people as possible can find relief and peace in their life.

If you are like millions of people worldwide, you have made some New Year's Resolutions to improve your life through statements of conviction. We want to do or not do something that will make our life better. Get and stay healthy and fit. Stop procrastinating. Improve our mind or skills. Volunteer. Make more money. Reduce stress. Have better sex. Spend more time with people that matter to us. [1] All great goals. Most new year's resolutions are abandoned within the first month. And if not then, they are gone by spring. Why? Common advice suggests that those new year's resolutions are not specific enough and are not framed positively. The resolutions are not about you. [2] New Year's Resolutions are statements or promises that we make to ourselves—things we want but don't know how to achieve. If we knew how to achieve them, we wouldn't need the yearly promise. Here is a different way of looking at our failures: · New Year's Promises target changing or fixing some fault or bad habit. · And you are not going to change any behavior until the underlying emotion is eliminated. I work with a different kind of resolution in my work and personal life called Emotional Resolution or EmRes, for short. The resolution in EmRes is about removing the emotions that we don't want—"resolving" the emotions that keep our procrastination or bad habits in place. If an unwelcome habit is present in you, Then you can be sure there is an unintegrated emotion at the base of it. Unintegrated emotions linger in our bodies when high-stress circumstances prevent the body from tending to the emotion and all its physical components in the moment. Our bodies have an innate capacity and knowledge to "process" emotions immediately when they occur. But if, for some reason, the body is not able, sensorial fragments of the emotion remains embedded in the tissue. Later in life, in similar situations these sensorial fragments are triggered into reactive emotions that disturb us. Often they are so uncomfortable that we cover them up with behavior. After a time, the emotion fades as the behavior becomes a subconscious routine. And voila! We have a habit we don't want and can't seem to change, despite our best efforts. Emotional Resolution addresses the root cause of our unwanted habits by eliminating the buried emotion. The good news is · We don't have to know what the emotion is · We don't have to know why or where the emotion came from. Unwanted habits and behaviors are excellent signposts to our unintegrated emotions. Working on them is the best form of emotional hygiene to results. Making an EmRes resolution makes your life better through emotional hygiene. It is like giving yourself the gift of a better life with every EMOTIONAL RESOLUTION you do. Are you ready to clean up your habits, patterns and behaviors? References 1. 50 New Year's Resolution Ideas And How To Achieve Each Of Them, https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/50-new-years-resolution-ideas-and-how-achieve-each-them.html 2. A psychotherapist says there are 3 common reasons so many people's New Year's resolutions end in failure, https://www.businessinsider.com/new-years-resolutions-failure-advice-jonathan-alpert-2018-12 Photo by Sebastian Pociecha on Unsplash About Sue Sue Siebens is an intuitive holistic healer based in Dallas, Texas. In her practice, she uses techniques that work at a fundamental level, where the roots of the illness, fear, and pain can be accessed and resolved. Sue teaches and blogs to broadcast and raise awareness about these new technologies so that as many people as possible can find relief and peace in their life.

What are your reactions to other people? Who has been irritating you lately? What emotion did you experience just by watching someone enter the room? · Were you irritated, angry, or resentful – continuing from the last interaction you had with them? · Were you nervous, inhibited, or anxious based on your first impression of them --they appeared so beautiful, confident or powerful · Were you overly engaging or nice, showing off, or acting coy or silly as you drew the person into conversation, tried to gain favor or friendship? · Did you shut down completely, diverting your eyes as you quietly predict this person will not be interested in you or anything you have to offer? All they did was enter the room. What happened to you? Where did this turmoil of emotions come from? Short answer: Unintegrated emotions are buried in your body. Your subconscious will keep triggering them as long as the emotions remain unresolved. Emotional Resolution®, EmRes®, resolves the imbedded emotions, integrating them into our past experience. As a result, we will remember, but not be triggered by them. Long answer: continue reading to learn how are emotions triggered, how do they get integrated or not, when are they revived or resolved. It works the same way for all triggered emotions. 1. You are sitting in a meeting room, and Tom enters. You didn’t know Tom was attending, so it gets your attention. But nothing else about Tom’s arrival or appearance provokes a secondary reaction. You go back to your coffee. 2. You are still waiting for the meeting to start and in strolls Becky. She’s to lead the discussion and is late. Becky holds an important position in your organization. Again, you focus because she will start the meeting. But now you feel anger and irritation because she is late. Your inner conversation: “It’s totally inappropriate! She should be on time. She doesn’t respect people’s time and our contribution to the company. We have work to do, and she shouldn’t waste our time by arriving late!” Geez, where did that come from? She wasn’t the last to arrive, but Becky is who you are angry with. Emotions are prompted by something outside us. Our subconscious interprets what we sense (see, hear, touch, etc.). It compares this information with memories to create a prediction about what will happen next. It communicates the prediction via physical sensations that our cognitive mind interprets as emotion. Everyone’s matrix of physical sensations-emotions are unique to them, but we all have experienced anger, fear, shame, etc. When you see Tom and experience heightened attention, you feel the physical sensation/emotion, and it passes quickly. No triggering. This is a primary emotional RESPONSE. When you see Becky, your attention is drawn away from your coffee as the meeting starts. Again, your subconscious has activated physical sensations caused by a mild alarm to take notice/pay attention. This initial response to Becky quickly passes, but it is replaced by anger. The anger toward Becky is a secondary emotional REACTION. Secondary emotional reactions are felt more strongly and last longer. They happen because we have unresolved high-stress events and traumas from the past. Sometimes, our bodies can’t finish processing our experienced emotions due to extreme stress or loss of consciousness. The emotion’s remaining physical sensations remain in the body as sensory imprints in hibernation. Our subconscious wakes the dormant sensory imprints when it predicts that the current situation is “similar enough” to the original situation. “Similar enough” is often very subtle. In this meeting scenario, there is something about watching Becky casually walk into the meeting that connects the subconscious to memory and a dormant sensory imprint, which produces anger. The subtle trigger could be the color she is wearing, the shadow she creates on the wall or the sudden quiet in the room as the meeting starts. Only the subconscious knows what the precise trigger is. And unfortunately, the subconscious isn’t confessing. Luckily, with EmRes, we don’t have to know or understand it—we only know that the trigger exists. I’ll get back to this shortly. How do we change our secondary emotional reaction? Primary emotions are responses to something outside us. Secondary emotions are reactions to something INSIDE us, and they are uncomfortable. To ease our distress, we spend a lot of time employing coping skills as temporary fixes. There are whole disciplines and industries that promise to make us feel better: relief by breathing through the anger, extra reps at the gym, glasses of wine or beer after work, snacks, gambling, etc. But none of these behaviors fix the triggering. Secondary emotion triggering will repeat until the sensory imprint is integrated. We could find out why we have these feelings in the first place. Maybe if we knew why it would stop? The problem is most of our injuries originate in the womb, during birth, and the first thousand days of life. Who has clear memories of those times? We may never know the details of the original injury that caused the emotion to be unprocessed and buried in the first place. And knowing doesn’t integrate the buried memory anyway. What works? Uncomfortable emotions are triggered by three components: a situation in the current reality, an associated memory (connected by the subconscious,) and the related sensory imprint. We will continuously be in new situations that mimic old conditions to our subconscious. So that side of the triangle(current situation/memory) is not “fixable.” The sensory imprint must be integrated—it’s the only handle we have. The good news is that EmRes will address these buried sensory imprints to break up the triangle of triggered emotions. Our bodies have an innate capacity to resolve primary emotions once their message is delivered to the cognitive brain. It does this all day, every day, without even noticing. EmRes capitalizes on this capacity to remove imprinted emotions. When situations trigger emotions, it demonstrates that a buried emotion is screaming for integration. The emotion-situation acts as a GPS to the sensory imprints. EmRes then pairs the body’s innate capacity and the triggered secondary emotion scenario to resolve the buried emotion. And the anger-triangle breaks! Now you notice that Becky is late, but you don’t get angry about it. And unless you are Becky’s boss, you can care about other things. It sounds too simple to be effective. EmRes is straightforward and precise. Our cognitive mind will try to derail the process by explaining, judging, or suppressing uncomfortable emotional sensations. In EmRes sessions, certified EmRes practitioners keep you on track through the process of integrating emotions. EmRes sessions are like having a conversation with a friend. It’s not about re-triggering. Share only as many personal details as you feel comfortable expressing. You are conscious and in control the whole time. The discussion starts by telling about the moments before a recent triggering event, and the practitioner guides you through the rest of the process. Leave triangles to music Integrating buried emotions/sensorial imprints means the emotion triangle no longer exists. The triggering can no longer happen when that current situation/memory fragments are connected by the subconscious. It may connect them, but there is no residual emotion to trigger. Hallelujah! Every uncomfortable emotion you experience, large or small, is an emotion-triangle waiting to happen. What other emotional reactions do you experience that are unnecessary? Uncomfortable emotions take up our precious mental and physical resources—even small annoyances build-up if experienced all day, every day. If you are not content, there is a buried emotion to work on! · When do you feel worthless, anxious, uninspired? · When do others drag you down, irritate you, and waste your time? · When are you blaming, controlling, complaining? · When do you find yourself overreaching to impress or letting go of boundaries to gain ground? · When are you thinking of memories or impossible futures that encourage not being in and enjoying the present moment? · When is “that’s just my personality” your excuse? · When are you not happy? · Do you believe angst is a normal human condition? IT’S NOT! Are you ready to be content? About Sue Sue Siebens is an intuitive holistic healer based in Dallas, Texas. In her practice, she uses techniques that work at a fundamental level, where the roots of the illness, fear, and pain can be accessed and resolved. Sue teaches and blogs to broadcast and raise awareness about these new technologies so that as many people as possible can find relief and peace in their life.

Most of the emotional wounds we express in our current life through feelings and behaviors originated in the early months and years of our life. Emotional Neglect is the least publicly discussed or scientifically researched of the Adverse Childhood Events or ACEs. But it is more prevalent and just as damaging as physical or sexual abuse in the long term. Neglect is not dramatic enough to make the headlines. It is difficult to see what’s missing in a child’s life, and neglect often occurs together with abuse.[2] So, it goes overlooked. But the consequences of Emotional Neglect are very real. Current understanding about childhood needs estimates that parents need to provide affection and validation in an age-appropriate way to the child at least 30% of the time. Emotional Neglect is not always about bad parents making bad choices. Often emotional neglect is learned and passed down in a cycle to the next generation. And caregivers may be overwhelmed, struggling, or pre-occupied in other areas. Regardless of the cause, if children don’t get the emotional modeling they need when young, they will learn from peers and adults outside the home. [2] How our parents treated us as children is how we view ourselves as adults. Emotionally Neglected children learn that their feelings and emotions are irrelevant. Dr. Jonic Webb, the author of Running on Empty, explains that this profoundly impacts developing self-identity and understanding/processing emotions in themselves and others. They will grow into adulthood and experience many of the following internal narratives. · Feelings of emptiness · Counter-dependence (the fear of being dependent on anyone) · Unrealistic self-appraisal (not sure of self-identity or desires) · No compassion of self, plenty for others · Guilt and shame; what is wrong with me? · Self-directed anger, self-blame · The fatal flaw (if people really knew me, they won’t like me) · Difficulty nurturing self and others · Poor self-discipline · Alexithymia: poor awareness and understanding of emotions [3] Do any of these stories ring true for you? The self-talk of Emotional Neglect colors every interaction and expectation in life. These are meta-emotions—how we feel about how we feel. We behave and interact with others based on how worthy we feel and how deserving we think we are. How can self-talk change? Our behaviors and interactions led us directly to the emotional injuries that need resolving. By working to resolve the emotions associated with neglect and self-talk, individuals can change their current stories and feelings about their past. Emotional Resolution®, EmRes®, uses current-ish real-life episodes to reset the subconscious triggers that promote negative self-talk and self-esteem. Self-betrayal, self-denial, and any other internal or external action that reflects negatively on the self is fodder for this work. Often it can feel like a swampy, tangled mess of emotions and behaviors. Where to start? One of the many beautiful things about EmRes® is that the end goals and session topics are self-directed. The client chooses. My client, Clara (not her real name), started her EmRes® journey when she had a big decision to make and couldn’t bring her mind to grasp what she wanted. Her fiancé, whom she had been living with for four years, wanted to move forward: get married, have kids, buy a house, settle down into family life. Clara was frozen in indecision. When the subject came up, he would bring up so many positive reasons. She agreed with all of it. Clara just couldn’t commit to saying, “Yes, we can start. Let’s do it now.” Every time they would talk about it, she’d say, “I need more time” and think, “This can’t be right for me. I’m missing something, but I don’t know what.” Clara’s first EmRes® session started right there: a previous conversation with her fiancé about marriage and kids. Her following EmRes® sessions began with conversations or situations where she didn’t feel confident or felt shamed by someone. These included talking to her mother, getting through job interviews, was the offered job right for her, understanding where she wanted to live, did she want children with anyone, etc. Her EmRes® work healed the emotional wounds and triggers that kept her from living and feeling fully Clara didn’t have a diagnosis of Emotional Neglect, as far as I know. She was successful in business and a quiet, kind, and caring person. Anyone would love to have her as a friend, wife, or daughter. But it was clear through session conversations that she had no sense of who she was inside, what she wanted, or how to express her opinion or emotion without fear of reprisal. Through a series of Emotional Resolution® sessions, Clara found her voice. She realized what she wanted and under what conditions they could happen for her to be comfortable. As she found her voice, Clara also discovered herself and was happy with the person she is. At the beginning of one session, Clara shared that she had been singing and playing guitar privately for years. At a small local pub the previous evening, a friend invited her on-stage to sing with the band. She hesitated a little, then joined the group for a couple of songs. Then with their encouragement, borrowed a guitar and sang on her own. They loved it. She loved it more. Clara was thrilled with her new confidence in sharing music. She wasn’t interested in a music career but loved the joy of a shared musical experience. She would try it again soon. It was just an outward manifestation of the new and beautiful changes that were going on internally. A wallflower no more! Using EmRes® to work through the consequences of Emotional Neglect uses recent events to access past wounds. EmRes® doesn’t need to know or understand where or when the injury happened, just that it did. This kind of emotional hygiene will have profound effects. Each session brings relief, even if multiple sessions are necessary to bring on large internal shifts in confidence and contentment. Are you ready to change your self-image and self-talk? References 1. What is Developmental Trauma / ACEs, https://www.porticonetwork.ca/web/childhood-trauma-toolkit/developmental-trauma/what-is-developmental-trauma 2. The Hollower: Childhood Emotional Neglect and Its Effects, https://www.themeadows.com/blog/the-hollower-childhood-emotional-neglect-and-its-effects/ 3. Running on Empty, by Jonice Webb Ph.D. with Christine Musello, PsyD About Sue Sue Siebens is an intuitive holistic healer based in Dallas, Texas. In her practice, she uses techniques that work at a fundamental level, where the roots of the illness, fear, and pain can be accessed and resolved. Sue teaches and blogs to broadcast and raise awareness about these new technologies so that as many people as possible can find relief and peace in their life.

Effective self-awareness and self-control, aspects of emotional intelligence, are key to connecting with and managing our emotions in the present moment. We all have areas where we lack these skills. Often what we perceive as our identity and emotional reactions are different than how others perceive us and our actions. What we characterize as hard-working with a passion for order, might appear as controlling and perfectionist, or caring for others as not respecting other’s boundaries, or being sensitive as emotionally distant. [1] There is a disconnect between our subconscious and conscious awareness and conduct. Our internal world is subtly out of sync with our external reality. These are our EMOTIONAL BLIND SPOTS. They are also displayed in the little paradoxes that we keep manifesting: [2, 3, 4] Having the same troublesome relationships with different people Ending up in the same vexing job situation even after changing jobs Being a habitual people pleaser, often at our own expense Never (rarely) apologizing, accepting blame or admitting flaws Ducking real intimacy with jokes or other diversions Being a loner because social situations are never exactly right, they don’t feel right Assuming lead roles even when it is not our project or our house. Getting angry or disappointed in the face of criticism These repeated social situations just seem to happen. We do not know how we got here, don’t want to be here, but here we are again. The results of our actions conflict with our conscious wishes, but apparently in direct correlation with our subconscious desires. The current research in neuroscience has shown that emotions are culturally based and socially learned from our first families. We develop emotional concepts using the words as shortcuts to simplify and organize our emotional experiences. Emotional concepts help us pool the many aspects of anger, for instance, into concept groups. Concepts help us more easily recognize emotions in ourselves and others. So, a person that is red-faced, screaming, jumping up and down, and appears miserable, according to our culture’s body and facial cues is probably angry. And likewise, a person that is red-faced, screaming jumping up and down, and appears to be having a pleasant experience doing so is probably super excited and happy, if that is acceptable behavior for a happy person in our society. Emotional blind spots are emotional blocks or areas of underdeveloped emotional growth that we carry subconsciously. If we were never taught or were exposed to some emotional management behavior by our emotion teachers, then we cannot express those emotional concepts. For instance, if our parents did not filter their thoughts when talking to others, it is likely we also lack filters and we overshare or offend others without knowing what we said. Blocked emotions happened as a result of a specific trauma that put the kibosh on emotional learning and awareness Identifying our emotional blind spots are paramount to our overall happiness. They are the bumps and obstacles in our life. They create situations where we are emotional but not emotionally connected to the reality of our situation. These are the moments when our Emotional Intelligence is lacking. How do we take the blinders off? Understanding the “why” is not as important as “what”. What matters is noticing those behaviors and situations where we are out of sync with reality. Where are we: avoiding people, conversations, or situations because they might make us feel uncomfortable? in denial about anything consistently in the same unsatisfactory social situation, job, relationship expressing emotions in an over-the-top fashion being misunderstood, attacked or devalued All these cases are produced by subconscious emotions that are buried in the body. Emotional Resolution is a natural method of resolving emotions that we cannot see. And it does so with permanent effect. By working with the blind-spot situations and behaviors, Emotional Resolution eliminates the emotions that block self-awareness and our use of self-control. Some elements of past traumas are embedded in the sensory pathways of the body. Subconscious memories linked to those traumas are aroused when a similar situation is encountered in our lives. In anticipation of similar outcomes, the connected sensory pathways are charged and the emotion reexperienced. When the prediction is wrong, we have an emotion that is not in sync with our reality. When the triggered emotion is not consciously processed by the mind, we have a blind spot. Emotional Resolution removes emotional blocks and subconscious triggers, allowing us to employ self-awareness and self-control naturally and without effort. Once the subconscious emotions are resolved, we can quickly learn new emotional concepts, vacant from our previous experience. They will feel like the skills we have always had. We will use them naturally, without even noticing, like breathing. An Emotional Resolution, EmRes, session addresses an emotion-situation individually. It uses the body’s natural ability of interoception, feeling internal sensations, and a proprietary method, guided by a professional. Sessions do not require personal history or retelling of personal details. There is no retriggering or trauma or flashbacks. Clients are fully conscious and self-aware. Emotional Resolution sessions are a pleasant conversation between client and EmRes professional to bring resolution to the buried emotional imprint and eliminating the blind spot. Are you ready to take off your blinders? References How Blind Spots Plague Even The Best Leaders, https://www.lollydaskal.com/leadership/how-blind-spots-plague-even-the-best-leaders/ Seeing Your Emotional Blind Spots, https://marthabeck.com/2011/11/seeing-your-emotional-blind-spots/ Blind Spots, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement/201805/blind-spots Conquering Emotional Blind Spots Is Challenging, But Worth It, https://www.huffingtonpost.ca/entry/blindspots-personality-resolutions-big-ideas-2020_ca_5e14aac2e4b0b2520d287324 About Sue Sue Siebens is an intuitive holistic healer based in Dallas, Texas. In her practice, she uses techniques that work at a fundamental level, where the roots of the illness, fear, and pain can be accessed and resolved.  Sue teaches and blogs to broadcast and raise awareness about these new technologies so that as many people as possible can find relief and peace in their life.

Stress. Everyone agrees that the continuous long-term stress we are experiencing due to the Coronavirus outbreak has many negative effects on our life, including · Fear and worry about health and the health of loved ones · Changes in sleep or eating patterns · Difficulty sleeping or concentrating · Worsening of chronic health problems · Worsening of mental health conditions · Increased use of alcohol, tobacco, or other drugs [1]. During the middle ages, Bubonic plague also known as “the black death” was pandemic across Europe, Africa, and Asia. In France, the main caretakers for the sick people were nuns and mentally disabled persons were employed to carry away and bury the dead. They were heavily exposed to this disease due to this work. They did contract the plague and were symptomatic, but their survival rate was much higher than other groups of infected people. Why? One reason put forward is that they lacked a heightened stress response when they got sick. The nuns had an undefeatable faith that did not leave much room for fear and the mentally disabled were likely ignorant of the threat. It is true that as we are given an adverse diagnosis, we can become “scared to death”. When we experience anxiety, fear, anger, or stress, precious energy leaves our body. Energy and resources that could be used by our immune system to help regain strength and health. There are internal neurological and physiological reactions to prolonged stress and are characterized by three stages 1. Alarm, a flight-or-flight response that raises hormones that increase physical responsiveness and metabolism for immediate energy to fight off the threat 2. Resistance, a continued state of arousal that may upset homeostasis and harm internal organs leaving the organism vulnerable to disease 3. Exhaustion, after prolonged resistance the body’s reserves are depleted and breakdown occurs. Diseases such as headaches, insomnia, high blood pressure, and cardiovascular and kidney diseases are associated with Stress Exhaustion phase.[2] It is clear that we need to eliminate anything that is a chronic stressor to stay healthy. It is especially important to stay healthy when COVID-19 supplies a heightened challenge to our bodies. Of course, “our elders and people with pre-existing conditions are more at risk”. However, just hearing that phrase over and over again, on the news and repeated in our conversations, is creating an even higher stress condition. Panic is at the ready when they get symptomatic or get diagnosed. This strongly impacts their ability to heal and recover! We don’t even have to be in that group to be freaking out these days. How can we reduce our stress? What can we do to keep our immune system at its full power when we need it to fight off the novel viruses? Release the stress. Not through coping with the stress! But by releasing the stress through eliminating the emotions and feelings that underlay the stress and keep it in place. What does that mean? It is right and true to be concerned and take precautions and preventions to not catch the virus, if at all possible. That’s a sane and normal response. It’s not an emotional reaction. Precaution alone is not stressful. Not any more than brushing your teeth is stressful when you pull out your toothbrush to prevent tooth decay, and eventual dentures. Any “stress” (fear, paranoia, anxiety, threat, conspiracy, etc.) that we feel about the virus, the social restrictions, or the behaviors of others is about an emotion that is driven by the circumstances. New understandings in neuroscience show us that emotions are created by the subconscious when it perceives a connection between current situations and past traumas that were unprocessed. The unprocessed emotion is lodged in the body as a sensory pathway. The connection between current and past can be vague, but the subconscious tries to prepare us to meet the challenge with an emotional response. The emotional response is to light up the embedded sensory pathway, creating a pattern of physical sensations that is interpreted by the brain as emotion. Most of the time the emotional response is not in sync with the person’s reality. The vast majority of the time, its prediction is wrong. There may be something to pay attention to, but no tiger is charging out of the woods. If we were to reset the subconscious link between the situation and past trauma, the triggering event would not happen. There would be no emotion clouding our response and there would be no cascading stress response to injury our immune system, which we need so desperately right now. It turns out that the Emotional Resolution method does just that. It uses the current event stimulus to eliminate the buried emotional component and crushes the stress reaction. It resets the subconscious—no more trigger. No more dampening pressure on the immune system. An Emotional Resolution, EmRes, session is like having a calm conversation with a friend. The EmRes professional guides without triggering past trauma or flashbacks, without knowing personal detail or history. The results are permanent. Are you ready to strengthen your immune system by resolving your emotions? Reference 1. Coronavirus Disease 2019 (COVID-19), https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/daily-life-coping/managing-stress-anxiety.html 2. Stress, https://www.csun.edu/~vcpsy00h/students/stress.htm Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash About Sue Sue Siebens is an intuitive holistic healer based in Dallas, Texas. In her practice, she uses techniques that work at a fundamental level, where the roots of the illness, fear and pain can be accessed and resolved. Sue teaches and blogs to broadcast and raise awareness about these new technologies, so that as many people as possible can find relief and peace in their life.

While it is sensible to take reasonable precautions during any influenza outbreak, pandemic or not, anxiety and fear that causes you stress can affect your immune system. There is plenty of scientific studies and evidence that show how high stress, no matter the specific cause, will put us into fight-or-flight. If you have something/somebody to fight or flee from, then okay, having more resources go to muscles and breathing and less to the rest-and-repair system is probably a good thing. "However, when stressors and 'feeling under attack' remain constant, the fight-or-flight reaction stays turned on, over-exposing the body to cortisol and other stress hormones. The cells of the immune system (and other body systems) are unable to respond normally and produce levels of inflammation which increase the risk of further health issues.[1]" So, just when we need it the most, our immune system is getting knocked down by the constant barrage of new and unanticipated scenarios in so many aspects of our lives. How does fear show up in our lives? Our responses to fear manifest as ESCAPE, AGGRESIVENESS, SHUT DOWN, and CONTROL We often have these fear-based behaviors without even realizing it. Look closely at the behaviors and reactions in your daily life. · Escape: When do you want to avoid something/somebody or “I don’t want to deal with it”. · Aggression: Which situations make you feel angry, frustrated, snappy or punch a wall? It can also be a passive aggressive action like back-handed compliments, blaming others or playing the victim. · Shut down: What situations hold you back or restrains you from doing or thinking something. “I want to do something, but something INSIDE OF ME stops me”, “I don’t dare”, “I am feeling overwhelmed”. When do you feel stuck or held back in relationships, money, career, etc? · Control: “In which situations do you become overbearing, try to control yourself or be bossy to someone else?” Is there a routine or activity that is necessary in order to relax, like wine, meditations, a spa visit, yoga, a walk, the gym? All of these behaviors have underlaying fears. With Emotional Resolution™, EmRes™, we can access our body’s innate capacity to resolve these brusing emotions. By removing the fear/stressful emotion permanently, your mind, body and immune system are re-balanced with your current reality. Alternatives? Otherwise you can practice popular coping skills to set aside the emotion for a time. Here are some commonly used methods. · Take a time-out. Practice yoga, listen to music, meditate, get a massage, or learn relaxation techniques. Stepping back from the problem helps clear your head. · Eat well-balanced meals. Do not skip any meals. Do keep healthful, energy-boosting snacks on hand. · Limit alcohol and caffeine, which can aggravate anxiety and trigger panic attacks. · Get enough sleep. When stressed, your body needs additional sleep and rest. · Exercise daily to help you feel good and maintain your health. · Take deep breaths. Inhale and exhale slowly. · Count to 10 slowly. Repeat, and count to 20 if necessary. · Accept that you cannot control everything. Put your stress in perspective: Is it really as bad as you think? · Welcome humor. A good laugh goes a long way. · Maintain a positive attitude. Make an effort to replace negative thoughts with positive ones.[2] The is nothing particularly wrong with these coping mechanisms. But they are a temporary fix. They help us set the emotion aside, tamp down the fire, or difuse the moment. But the next time a fear trigger is presented, the emotion will return to torment us and depress our immune systems. We all need to stay as healthy as possible. The best suggestion, is to remove your excess fear and anxiety using Emotional Resolution™. Are you ready to get rid of the fear? Be fearless, but not foolish. Reference 1. Why stress is the enemy of your immune system 2. Tips About Sue Sue Siebens is an intuitive holistic healer based in Dallas, Texas. In her practice, she uses techniques that work at a fundamental level, where the roots of the illness, fear and pain can be accessed and resolved. Sue teaches and blogs to broadcast and raise awareness about these new technologies, so that as many people as possible can find relief and peace in their life.

“I know I need to return this phone call (or something similar), but, before I do...I’ll cruise FaceBook first.” “I’m feeling a little down today. Let me check my Instagram feed to see how many people liked my recent post.” “I need to start this project but let me check my Twitter account first.” “I got so much to do today. I’ll just check Amazon’s daily deals to see if I need anything.” The internet and social media, in particular, are attractive hangouts. There is no doubt about it. Developers and marketers spend a good deal of time to make sure that apps, blogs, and websites are “sticky”, meaning they attract and keep our attention. It’s the “economics of attention”. The more time spent on their site, the more likely you are to get what they want out of you. It seems harmless enough. After all, no one is forcing you to buy. But that’s not all that’s going on… The attractive stream of content works on your brain like the most addictive drugs. It keeps you happy while you’re on them and creates a desire for more when you are away. This is especially important if you are procrastinating or trying to avoid some tasks entirely and using the internet/social media as your refuge. It’s all about pleasure-seeking and pain avoidance behaviors that are a natural part of being human. And it’s the biggest timewaster in the modern world. When you want to do something, but end up doing something else, there is an emotion in play. It’s procrastination, avoidance, delay, and hesitation. You can feel vaguely like your dodging your project or it can be a completely unconscious side-step. Whatever you call it and no matter the details, we’ve all done it a million times, in a million different scenarios. “Yesterday I needed to answer emails that have been sitting in my inbox. But when I opened my laptop, my Facebook newsfeed came up first and I scrolled through memes for a while. I lost track of time meme-ing. Then I had to go to a meeting. I never did get emails answered. ☹ I really did want to answer them yesterday and get them off my plate. I made a point of having time to get on the laptop and do it. Then I got derailed! It’s so frustrating!” The tricky part is that it doesn’t feel like an emotion is in play. We just wanted to do one thing and end up doing something else. No emotion is felt…at least not in the normal sense. The buried emotion driving procrastination is there, stuck in the body. But the subconscious hasn’t detected a sufficient “environmental stimuli” to trigger the buried emotion to the surface where we can feel it. The emotion is misrepresented from a feeling to a behavior. The desired behavior/task is short-circuited to some new activity and we are otherwise seamlessly engaged with no real notion of how we got there. How do we work on an emotion that we don’t feel? The emotion happens in the unconscious moment before the “response behavior”—the misdirected action, like meme-ing on Facebook. The emotion is real. It just has to be accessed properly. Emotional Resolution has a method to isolate this “unknown emotion” and eliminate it During their Emotional Resolution session, the procrastinator identifies the moments that led up to the shift to the response behavior (ex: surfing the internet). The Emotional Resolution practitioner guides the session to the hidden emotion and the emotion will be released. The short-circuit, the connection between the elusive emotion and the subconscious mind’s tricks of misdirection, is broken and the procrastination is snuffed out. YEAH! Those emails will get answered! Generally speaking, eliminating procrastination using Emotional Resolution needs the guidance of an Emotional Resolution professional. The process requires a specific technique to trick the subconscious into accessing the hidden emotion. It’s difficult to achieve using Self Emotional Resolution, even if you are a practiced Self-EmRes user. So if you have things to do, that you genuinely want to do, but can’t seem to get them done, then find an Emotional Resolution professional that can help you get rid of procrastination’s hidden emotion. Sue Siebens

Erectile dysfunction, is a relatively common condition, particularly in older men. But it can occur in any male past puberty, young men in their 20s and onward. It is believed that over 30 million men in the US experience erectile dysfunction. It’s hard to collect accurate numbers on its prevalence since many men will not volunteer such information during their medical check-ups. But if sales figures are telling, then $330 million was spent in 2000 on erectile dysfunction. Erectile dysfunction can be a sign of an underlying medical issue. Physical causes of erectile dysfunction range from vascular diseases (atherosclerosis, venous insufficiency) and metabolic diseases (diabetes, hormones and renal failure), damaged nerves due to surgical procedures, injuries and neurogenic disorders (Parkinson's, Alzheimer's, MS, stroke), and medication’s side affects. But if all the physical reasons have been ruled out, it’s time to turn to emotions and their effects on the problem. Performance Anxiety It is common in new relationships that a man might be eager and a little nervous about an upcoming sexual encounter and want to impress. Usually, the problem passes as partners become more comfortable with each other and in their sexual relationship. But performance anxiety is thought to be one of the most common emotional causes of erectile dysfunction and a major component in persistent issues due to its self-perpetuating nature; performance failures lead to a belief in more inevitable performance failures. The anxiety builds in a deadly spiral of worries and self-created obstacles. Stress Not all causes of erectile dysfunction are directly related to sexual intercourse. When stress is a prominent force in a man’s life, it can have a significant effect on sexual performance. Issues at home, in the office or periods of financial uncertainty, can affect mood, desire, and hormone production. Alleviating stress and worry can remove the distraction and help with being fully present and connected during intercourse. Depression A common, but less discussed, symptom of depression is erectile dysfunction. Depression and erectile dysfunction tangle together to make each one worse. Loss of self-esteem, disturbed sleep, poor eating, and overall fatigue are common symptoms of depression and all these contribute to a lack of interest and confirmation for feeling bad about oneself. Some anti-depressant medications also make impotence worse, which helps neither situation. Relationship Concerns If a man is not interested, due to over-familiarity or concerns within the relationship, it can contribute to libido problems. Likewise if there is confusion about sexual orientation, this underlying cause can affect desire leading to self-identity and esteem issues that ultimately run to erectile dysfunction. Erectile Dysfunction can result from a Matrix of Emotions. Erectile dysfunction can be anxiety-provoking and disorienting for any man at any age. A common pattern in the emotional causes of erectile dysfunction is that they are self-perpetuating. The loss of erection, libido or desire, depression, and uncertain relationships create a vortex of self-doubt and hesitation that starts at the first thoughts of an upcoming sexual encounter. Resolving the Emotional Vortex of Erectile Dysfunction Emotional Resolution (EmRes) removes the emotional triggers that feed the self-doubt and hesitation. It also works on depression, stress and performance anxiety. EmRes is an emerging technique that is uniquely positioned to help erectile dysfunction. During short one-on-one sessions with a profession, either in person, on the phone or via online meetings, the emotion that cloaks and guards a man’s erectile dysfunction is resolved and released. There is no triggering, no personal information need be shared, and any original trauma does not need to be known or shared. This is not sex therapy. 95% of the time, the session addresses the emotions leading up to the sexual encounter, not the encounter itself. We find that the limiting emotions occur well in advance, sometimes hours or more before, as the man envisions the upcoming interactions and starts to dwell on possible failure. At this early stage, the root emotion to be tackled starts a crescendo of increasing fears, culminating in either failure during or avoiding the encounter altogether. By working at the start of the cascade, the scope of discussion is diminished, relieving the client of what can, in some cases, be a very uncomfortable conversation for him. With this fear out of the way, more men step forward to reveal their anxieties and worries and resolve the emotions leading to erectile dysfunction. Learn more about EmRes (link: https://www.emotionalhealthinstitute.org/emotional-resolution) Are you ready to let go of the emotions that are wilting your performance? Sue Siebens Certified EmRes Practitioner