By Sue Siebens We continue the series with a second installment on Fear-Based Behaviors. (Read from the first post in the series here.) Many of our fears are not felt but are active below the level of consciousness. Our subconscious, aware of our unprocessed emotions, triggers these fears into actions and reactions. Our second topic in this series is Aggressiveness: Going Against the Fear. Even the word “aggression” can be triggering for some people. “Aggression is a behavior that is characterized by strong self-assertion with hostile or harmful tones. Aggression may sometimes be a normal reaction to a threat. It may also be abnormal, unprovoked or reactive behavior. Aggressive behaviors are directed at oneself, others, animals, or property. They can be verbal or physical. They can be premeditated and goal-oriented, or impulsive. They can be direct or indirect, overt or covert.”[1] Woof! And interestingly, the Diagnostic Manual of Psychiatry (DSM) does not list excessive aggression as a personality problem like other behaviors that go beyond “normal”: too much anxiety is generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), too much fear is phobias, too much concern for personal safety is obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), etc. Too much aggression? No diagnosis.[2] It seems to be lumped into “other” disorder responses. There is a difference between being assertive/self-assured and aggressive. Assertive is being confident and straightforward while respecting the opinions of others and their right to have those opinions. Aggression always assumes they are right and absolutely correct, being harsh and not respecting others’ opinions and rights.[3] Aggressive behavior can be a reaction at the moment or planned. Either way, the response is triggered. Each reaction depends on the person’s past high-stress emotions and the current situation. It’s personal and unique to them and what’s happening now. Physical aggression involves harming others physically—for instance, hitting, kicking, stabbing, or shooting them. Nonphysical aggression is aggression that does not include physical harm. Nonphysical aggression includes · verbal aggression (yelling, screaming, swearing, and name-calling) and · relational aggression is intentionally harming another person’s social relationships, for instance, by gossiping about another person, excluding others from our friendship, or giving others the “silent treatment.” Nonverbal aggression also occurs in sexual, racial, and homophobic jokes and epithets designed to cause harm. [4] If aggression is loud and visible, it is easier to identify. It’s the many quiet mental, emotional and verbal aggressions that may live more subtly in our lives: · Social aggression is like hitting with feelings - Gossiping about someone, excluding someone, threatening to end relationships, making facial gestures, and bullying.[5] · Passive-aggressive is indirect resistance to the demands of others and avoidance of confrontation, such as stonewalling, sarcastic comments, pretending to agree, deflection, silent sabotage, intentionally failing to follow through, making excuses, and any combination of these. [6] All these triggered reactions come from unprocessed emotions. Our subconscious speaks through our emotional body memories, asking for some relief. The current situation has reminded the subconscious that some emotional event in the past—maybe recently, maybe long ago—has unfinished business and needs to be cleaned up. These quiet aggressions build up the strain of life, little by little. Every time an irritant sparks an aggressive behavior, it adds an emotional pebble. That weight brings us down over time. If you are collecting stones from the time your eyes flutter open in the morning, your emotional gravel hauler will be outsized before long. You become more reactive because of this burden of stress. How do we lighten the load and find more peace in our life? We work on the triggers—those unprocessed emotional memories that keep springing to life in aggressive ways. Emotional Resolution, EmRes, uses a natural process called Viscero-somatic Quieting (or Somatric Quieting). The body, including the head, is where our emotions live. Viscero-somatic quieting starts with locating current emotions by feeling active physical sensations in the body. The mind is just reacting to the emotional information that these emotional, physical sensations represent. The mind unsucessfully tries to control them or to make them “go away.” It is the body’s job to hold and manage emotions, in the words of Lisa Feldman Barrett “Your brain keeps the score. Your body is the scorecard”. The fact that we have aggression in our behavior, large or small, tells us that something remains unfinished, for whatever reason. It’s time to clean it up. EmRes turns our attention to our unprocessed emotions. It gives the body time and space to finish cleaning up the emotional imprints left during high-stress events of our past. In an EmRes session, it uses current-ish situations as a GPS to stimulate enough subconscious recall to point the process to the triggering emotional imprint. EmRes is simple yet so effective. The work is deep and can tremendously change how we feel, react and behave. That gravel hauler will have less and less to carry. Life gets more stress-free and content. So: · What annoys you? · What situations make you angry or frustrated, make you roll your eyes, be snappy, want to be violent, or punch a wall? References 1. Aggression And Social Anxiety Among Young Adults ,https://www.researchgate.net/publication/356775497_Aggression_And_Social_Anxiety_Among_Young_Adults 2. On Aggression, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/dog-days/201612/aggression 3. What is the Difference Between Assertive and Aggressive, https://pediaa.com/what-is-the-difference-between-assertive-and-aggressive/ 4. PRINCIPLES OF SOCIAL PSYCHOLOGY – 1ST INTERNATIONAL H5P EDITION. Chapter 9. Aggression, https://opentextbc.ca/socialpsychology/chapter/defining-aggression/ 5. The etiology of social aggression: A nuclear twin family study, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7192661 6. 7 tell-tale signs of passive-aggressive behavior, plus how to respond and address it in yourself,https://www.insider.com/guides/health/mental-health/passive-aggressive Photo by Yogendra Singh on Unsplash About Sue Sue Siebens uses Emotional Resolution, EmRes, to work at a fundamental level, where the roots of the illness, fear, and pain can be accessed and resolved. Sue teaches and writes to raise awareness about this new technology so that as many people as possible can find relief and peace in their life. Sue is based in Dallas, Tx, USA.

By Sue Siebens Sometimes emotions are not felt. Suppressed emotions are expressed as behaviors. Often these are the soft emotional reactions and subtle ways we deal with our lives every day without much thought. Usually, they feel so “normal” that we assign these behaviors to our personality: introvert, extrovert, bossy, shy, controlling, etc. It feels like we have always been that way or reacted that way; It's an appropriate reaction –it's just how it is—how we are. This article is the first in a five-part series to explore the fear-based behaviors we all experience. Just because an emotion is not felt does not mean there is no impact on our life, happiness and contentment. In fact, in our Introduction to Emotional Resolution Class (LINK), we introduce our students to fear-based behaviors as suggestions for using Self-Emotional Resolution (Self-EmRes). The goal is to eliminate all emotions that drag us down, not just the big flashy ones. Fear-based behaviors are triggered by something in our immediate environment or social situation. They are our actions in response to fear, anxiety or panic. There is a difference between "I don't like it" versus "I don't like it because when I do, I get triggered.” For example, “I don’t eat spinach because I don’t like the taste/texture” versus, “I avoid spinach because I'm flooded with uncomfortable feelings when I see or smell it.” Our first topic in this series is Escape and Avoidance: Moving Away From the Fear. These are behaviors where a person does not enter a situation (avoidance) or leaves the situation once they have entered it (escape). Distraction is also an avoidance behavior because it's a way of not engaging.[1] These are our conscious or unconscious efforts to avoid dealing with a stressor to protect ourselves from the stressor's difficulties.[2] Avoidance shows up in our lives in several ways[3]: Situational Avoidance is the most common. Certain people trigger it, locations, activities, foods, animals or social situations that prompt panic or anxiety. People can see this in their lives as · Avoiding eye contact · Self-isolation · Lowering voice when speaking · Crossing the street, hiding in a restroom or leaving a gathering early · Avoiding certain social activities or canceling plans at the last minute · Not answering calls or text messages · Avoiding certain places and at certain times · Fear traveling or being on our own · Leaving jobs when a particular type of person shows up · Being afraid of public speaking and dropping a class, quitting a job or ditching an event when expected to speak in front of others Cognitive Avoidance avoids unpleasant thoughts or memories that are distressing. People will try to suppress or reject those thoughts to discharge undesirable or overwhelming feelings. · Forcefully trying not to think about it · Trying to numb out the unwanted thoughts · Constantly worrying about someone, something or some event to come · Compulsively repeating phrases, prayers, or positive affirmations Protective Avoidance uses excessive safety behaviors such as checking, cleaning, over-preparing or perfectionism. Obsessive-compulsive and eating disorders land in this category. As does procrastination. Somatic Avoidance gets our mind and body involved. Somatic Avoidance avoids the internal sensations associated with emotional distress: being out of breath, getting exhausted, and feeling hot. These are the well-known symptoms of anxiety and panic: shallow breathing, tightness in the chest, increased heart rate and sweaty palms. Someone may avoid even the normally pleasant sensations of excited anticipation of an upcoming event or sexual arousal because they feel too similar to being anxious. And finally, Substitution Avoidance is replacing one feeling with another, for example, replacing grief with anger or another more tolerable emotion at that moment. Numbing out is a form of substitution. Compulsive behaviors involving food, drugs and alcohol, sex and pornography, shopping or gambling are common strategies to feel something else. To be clear, there is nothing intrinsically wrong with many of the listed behaviors on their own. But if a person uses them to avoid or escape emotions, it won’t be successful--they are working against themselves. Coping mechanisms just push the feelings down the road—they don’t resolve or eliminate the triggering agents. Traditionally we believe that our mind is in control of emotions. But it is the body that is the emotional powerhouse.The mind only receives emotional cues and reacts in the way a cognitive mind does—with action, fight, flight, and freeze. The triggering agents are the unprocessed emotions that our bodies didn’t get a chance to work on when the feelings originally happened. In high-stress situations, the body temporarily suspends the job of cleaning up emotional cues/neurotransmitters to take care of more pressing business. The residual emotional imprints remain and can only be addressed by the body, not the mind. Emotional Resolution, EmRes, uses viscero-somatic quieting to allow the body to finish the emotional cleanup job. Resolving emotions with EmRes removes triggers the subconscious mind activates in reaction to cues from a person’s current situation/environment. The Avoidance/Escape behavior itself is the clue that an emotional trigger is buried and is asking to be resolved. There is no judgment or need to know about who, what, when, where, or why it’s there. It’s just the body saying, “there is some unfinished emotional business here,” and the mind misinterpreting that message as a current event. The event was in the past when the original emotion was left unprocessed. By resolving our Avoidance/Escape behaviors, we free ourselves to be present and find out what we honestly don’t like versus what we don’t like because it triggers us. So: · What actions, conversations, or situations are you escaping from or avoiding, resisting? · Where do you go out of your way not to do something or talk about it? · When you need wine, yoga, exercise, meditation, food, sex, gambling, gossip to relax from "it" or as a reward for "doing it"? References 1. Avoidance Behavior: Examples, Impacts, & How to Overcome, https://www.choosingtherapy.com/avoidance-behavior/ 2. Avoidance coping, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avoidance_coping 3. The Five Types of Avoidance, https://psychcentral.com/pro/the-five-types-of-avoidance#1 4. Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash About Sue Sue Siebens uses Emotional Resolution, EmRes, to work at a fundamental level, where the roots of the illness, fear, and pain can be accessed and resolved. Sue teaches and writes to raise awareness about this new technology so that as many people as possible can find relief and peace in their life. Sue is based in Dallas, Tx, USA.

By Sue Siebens Parenting is a tough job, even if you love it. Teaching our children all the life skills they need to be successful adults can be overwhelming. There are many details to parse into age-appropriate bites: · decision-making · health and hygiene · time and money management · maintaining a home · school and work skills · goal setting and working towards achievements And, of course, how to handle an emotional life that is uniquely theirs. There is no universal formula for parenting. Each child has different needs regarding just the right amount of attention, support, encouragement, and restraint. And those levels change as they move through different stages and sometimes through the day. We learn how to deal with emotions from our first family and support figures. Emotional regulating solutions are passed down through the generations. We are content when not experiencing a disruptive emotion; We are in equilibrium with our present environment. We each have a collection of coping mechanisms that help us reacquire calmness. And we try to teach these skills to our kids to help them face their fears, calm themselves down, and cheer themselves up. · Breathing exercises · Label the feeling · Positive self talk · Physical movement and exercise · Paying games and other mood boosters If we are honest, we know from our own experience that these strategies are a temporary relief. When the situational trigger happens again, the same triggered emotion will erupt again. Each repeated instance creates an incrementally larger reaction, making things worse over time. A Better Understanding Triggered emotions are unprocessed emotions from some past high-stress event. They are re-expressed when something in our current situation alerts our subconscious to a similarity with an unprocessed emotion. And a triggered emotion blooms up in us. We may think that kids haven’t had enough experience to have unprocessed memories. But that’s not true. Emotions are present in us from the beginning: in-utero and on. But we don’t develop cognitive abilities to interpret or understand these emotional messages until much later…if ever. Many emotions may not get processed fully during high-stress events and linger in the body as emotional imprints. Observe a newborn or toddler to see their high-stress emotions in action when they are not fed on time, it is nap time or time to share a toy. To be sure, high-stress emotional and physical events, that create unprocessed emotions can occur throughout our lives. But many are made during the birth process and the first 1000 days [1]. As a result, children have many unprocessedemotions that drive their emotional life. How can we help them? Emotional Resolution, EmRes, is a simple, yet powerful protocol that uses the body’s innate ability to process emotion, new or old. We just have to give the body the time and space to do the work. EmRes sessions access unprocessed emotions through recent triggered situations. Sessions are conducted by EmRes Professionals in a private, safe environment. EmRes-Self is conducted on oneself in the moment of the emotion, resolving the unprocessed emotion that is currently active. Children older than 11 can participate in EmRes sessions and learn EmRes-Self as adults do. They can manage their emotional life with a minimum of side coaching/reminders from parents and session work. Children ages 4-11, depending on their maturity level, can benefit from EmRes sessions and learn EmRes-Self. By working individually with them when they are experiencing an uncomfortable feeling, the child learns how to resolve their unprocessed emotions. It is not just tantrums. Kids have a full range of emotional expressions similar to adults, with fear heading the list. There are fears from external sources: o thunderstorms, o the dark, o scary movies, o being bullied, etc. and · from internal sources: o learning disabilities, o academic expectations, o test anxiety, o sports achievement, o feeling powerless and insecurity, o power and control issues, etc. It is challenging to navigate constant change socially and physically as a child. Remember, when a child is stressed and acting out, they are trying to tell us that something is wrong. Resolving emotional pain makes sailing smoother. EmRes is an invaluable tool for every child to have. As they resolve their emotional difficulties, they eliminate their fears and bring calmness and agency to their life. Who else needs the work? More often than not, when a child has an emotional episode, the parent/teacher/coach is also triggered by the behavior. They can experience a matrix of feelings. For example · loss of control · anger and frustration · inadequacy · worry · embarrassed · defensiveness · guilt · shame If the parent has an emotional response, it is impossible to be fully present for the child and their emotional healing. Answer: The adult needs to EmRes their own fear based emotional reactions before trying to help the child. It only takes 6-60 seconds, and the parent can then remind or assist the child through any EmRes-Self they need. When a parent/teacher/coach resolves their own emotions, it does two remarkable things: 1. the parent removes their emotional energy from the situation, making them more effective, and 2. the child sees the adult tending to their emotions, modeling a successful self-care strategy. Modeling good emotional hygiene is so powerful that it surpasses words. Actions always speak louder than words. What about kids under four years? We are all reflective of the emotional environment around us. Small children especially so. Remember, they are little emotional beings without the cognitive ability to understand it all. The best game plan is 1. Adults EmRes themselves, then 2. kindly hold the child or be in their space, and continue to EmRes yourself for both child and adult. The child will calm as the adult does. In fact, this is true of all kids and adults. If we are emotionally balanced by resolving emotions when difficult emotions are provoked in us—no matter how small, then we will not carry an emotional charge that will trigger someone else. When we uninstall our buttons, others will stop pushing them and vice versa. Can you imagine going through school, puberty and dating knowing the emotional self-care of EmRes? Our life choices would be far less distracting and confusing every step of the way! We can help our children with their emotional care and education. And in doing so we get to work on ourselves as well. Modeling emotional self-care is at the core of this work. Are you ready to provide emotional education and support in your child’s life—and to your own? Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash References 1. Boris Cyrulnik: Des Âmes et des Saisons About Sue Sue Siebens uses Emotional Resolution, EmRes, to work at a fundamental level, where the roots of the illness, fear, and pain can be accessed and resolved. Sue teaches and writes to raise awareness about this new technology so that as many people as possible can find relief and peace in their life. Sue is based in Dallas, Tx, USA.

Emotional self-care is our actions to manage our inner feelings and emotions. Most strategies we practice today only give temporary relief: breathing, exercise, wine, food, sex, sternly forcing ourselves to be present, avoiding the triggers altogether and so forth. Sometimes we think that knowing and understanding the root cause will somehow lessen the discomfort by attributing it outward. But these do not seem to deactivate future occurrences either. As humans, we all have emotions. We should accept our feelings, even the very uncomfortable ones, as a part of life. Once we simply and genuinely accept them, we stop experiencing them as pain or blocks. What stops us? Why do we hesitate to fully accept, painful, awkward emotions as just a small part of who we are? 1. "I am My Emotion." Our emotions can become our identity. Since our uncomfortable feelings seem to be with us “all the time”, they are sometimes seen as a large part of our personality and out of our control. And we believe our personality is a fixed thing, as unchangeable as the size of our feet. 2. The Sigma. Shame and fear are huge demotivators. Currently, our culture devalues people that display or share that they have emotional issues. So we hide and deal with it as best we can. 3. Lack of Awareness. We do not notice that every triggered emotion we experience in our day, large or small, stacks like a weight on our physical and mental wellbeing. Small stresses add up to significant burdens. Over time these added stressors will emerge in our lives as compulsive behaviors and contribute to chronic illness. 4. Fear of the Unknown. Even if a change is good, not knowing what we are trading for can hold us back. What will fill the vacuum of the resolved emotion? Something better? Something worse? 5. "I can reason myself out of this." As humans, our go-to move is to use our cognitive mind to figure out what our subconscious mind is doing. Otherwise known as the "if I just knew why or where these feelings came from, they would vanish on their own." If this strategy worked, I'd have no reason to write this blog, and we'd all be entirely emotionally regulated. 6. "If I am offended, it's the offender's fault." And the offender may be at fault. But the trigger belongs to us. It takes two to tango, and bullies need martyrs. Lose your triggers and stop being a target. And yes, the bully needs to work on their stuff too! But that is separate from the work we need to do. We are not our emotions! Emotional ghosts from our past make up a large part of our self-identity and reaction to any event or circumstance. Sometimes we identify with what we feel too closely: "I am angry/lonely/shy/depressed/broken/etc." When we exorcise these emotional demons, we uncover who we are—the unified self that is present and content in our current circumstances. Every emotion we feel is connected to the situation that triggered it. Our subconscious has linked something about the current environment with an unprocessed emotion for triggered emotions. This triangle, environmental stimulus, subconscious memory and emotional scar, keep the triggers on repeat. We can not do anything about the subconscious memory or the environments we find ourselves. They are out of our control. What we can change is the emotional body memory—the scar. Emotional Resolution, EmRes, uses the innate ability of our body to integrate emotions. Our body cleans up the neurotransmitters that signal we are experiencing emotion as naturally as breathing. But during high-stress events, our body may not have the time to do this cleanup, and the emotional signals remain as the emotional body memory/scar mentioned previously. Using a precise protocol, EmRes gives the body time and space to do the work that was left undone. When we have uncomfortable feelings, it is our body saying, “Hey, you have an unprocessed emotion here. Please do pay attention.” We can use EmRes to let go of these afflictions permanently. With Emotional Resolution, · My true character and genius are uncovered—my worldview shifts to solace and happiness. · I do not need to hide. I can honestly accept my emotions because they are not me—they are just old injuries. Not my fault, just my responsibility. · I work triggered emotions as I notice them, making my life clearer and more present. · Toxic relationships are not a part of my life. I don’t attract those experiences. If I react, then I have EmRes to work it out. · Resolving emotions is a great thing! I am no longer dragged down by demons from the past. · I don’t have to understand or know why I have these triggers. Just having them allows me to eliminate them. Are you ready to love who you are? Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash About Sue Sue Siebens uses Emotional Resolution, EmRes, to work at a fundamental level, where the roots of the illness, fear, and pain can be accessed and resolved. Sue teaches and writes to raise awareness about this new technology so that as many people as possible can find relief and peace in their life. Sue is based in Dallas, Tx, USA.

By Sue Siebens I grew up in the 1960s and 70s. In 1962 I was evacuated from Guantanamo Bay during the Cuban Missile Crisis. Raised in West Germany, I was just miles from the Iron Curtain with the Soviet power and threat it represented. The Cold War was part of the backdrop of my formative years, an ever-present menace. When the Berlin wall came down and eastern European governments shifted in 1998, I was an adult living in the US. It was so freeing and lifting to be relieved of the omnipresent peril. Thinking it was all behind us, that particular menace was put down and buried. But like all trauma, there are emotional memories that linger. These past days, as I watch my news feeds filled with Putin's invasion of Ukraine, I swing from fear of world war and compassion for the millions of people affected. My heart swells with pride for those defenders putting themselves in harm's way and angst for the families waiting for safety in makeshift bomb shelters and cold lines at border crossings. And I'm angry that there is more attention here than other conflicts around our planet (Mapped: Where are the World's Ongoing Conflicts Today?) It breaks little pieces of me, and I feel paralyzed at times. The past is back. It is now. Their suffering is very real. EmRes-is the best medicine I use the Emotional Resolution, EmRes. It is a method to process emotions from the past that are triggering up in the present. If I feel emotions well up as I watch video clips and news commentaries, I take a moment for this emotional self-care. It's not that I don't want to feel something. I want to be emotionally present, but I don't want my past experiences to cloud my now. Understanding where, how, and when some emotion(s) were left unprocessed by high-stress events in my past doesn't remove them from my life. The only thing I've found that works is EmRes. EmRes works on triggered emotions and meta-emotions. These emotions are secondary to the primary, instinctive emotional reaction of the moment (check out my blog Not all Emotions are Needed!). Primary emotions arise and fade in seconds—prompted by something we currently perceive. Secondary emotions (triggered and meta) are the emotions that last too long—evoked by unprocessed emotional memories. They keep us in fear, shame, sorrow, or whatever longer than a few seconds. They are the feelings that we don't want, generally speaking. As I view world events, from pandemic and terrorism to autocratic aggression, I use EmRes-Self to resolve the triggered and meta emotions that arise in me. EmRes-Self is an EmRes method for individuals to use on themselves for themselves. EmRes-Self access the emotional body memories awakened by the subconscious mind and processes them. The stressful reaction is released, and the emotional response is permanently integrated. The emotional body memory is gone—never to be activated again. If another trigger arises due to a different stimulus, I use EmRes-Self again. I work my way through the stress I feel as newsfeeds range through their stories over time. As a result, I don't feel as emotional, overwhelmed and paralyzed. I'm not distracted or stalled by the triggered emotions. I can think clearly about what is going on and what I can do to contribute or help. My balance is restored. I am unambiguous about instigators. I am compassionate and humanitarian in a clear and active way. Are you ready to let go of your past stress? Image by Alexas_Fotos from Pixabay About Sue Sue Siebens uses Emotional Resolution, EmRes, to work at a fundamental level, where the roots of the illness, fear, and pain can be accessed and resolved. Sue teaches and writes to raise awareness about this new technologies so that as many people as possible can find relief and peace in their life. Sue is based in Dallas, Tx, USA.

By Sue Siebens What do we do when our body does not comply with our ideals? Our society is fascinated with outward appearances—beauty standards that do not reflect anyone’s reality. Many ga-zillion dollar industries feed off our shame and individual intolerance of not living in bodies that meet these unrealistic ideals. We can find ourselves in a state of dysphoria, feeling uneasy or unhappy about our bodies. This doubt is likely to leak into other areas beyond the body, such as personal life and relationships, finance and work. Frequently, body image disturbances are accompanied by eating disorders and severe depression. In the extreme, this body discomfort is called body dysmorphia, the act of obsessively feeling that your body is flawed. Seeing your body differently than other people see it, a 100-pound woman that thinks she’s too fat is an example. Just to be clear, a sensible diet and exercise regime to maintain a healthy body is a good thing. But most of us have “friends” that may take it too far. Signs that body issues are present · Preoccupation with bodily appearance · Triggered by body discussions · Seeking the next best diet or exercise program · Strange eating behaviors—restricting certain foods, meticulous tracking, excessive supplements · Drastic changes in appearance · Drastic changes in personality · Unhealthy shifts to color all social interactions by how it will affect the diet and exercise regime If any of this is the case for you, then It’s time to take advantage of Emotional Resolution™. Emotional tension and stress are working against you. Researchers have found that stress causes increased cortisol levels. Cortisol impacts include [1] · Reducing the likelihood that you’ll follow a regular exercise routine · Hindering your recovery · Slowing down your fitness gains · Preventing weight loss Letting go of the emotional drivers in your life clears a path to make better, more consistent decisions about how we care for our bodies. Emotional Resolution™ or EmRes™ meets you where you are: what tension(s) are you manifesting NOW. What is potentially getting in the way of your best potential? There is not one correct answer. Just what comes to your mind first is an excellent place to start. You don’t have to know why or where the feeling or behavior comes from. EmRes uses current emotional tensions to clear up unprocessed emotions. In fact, when you have a triggered emotion or behavior, your body says, “Hey, you have an unprocessed emotion here that you might want to take care of.” It’s just like a sore sprained ankle or bleeding papercut; your body is giving you information. It’s our job to listen and take action. Unprocessed emotions are left in the body when high-stress events prevent them from being resolved in the moment. These emotional imprints can resurface as disruptive personality traits and behaviors when left long enough. Certain situations prompt emotions/behaviors to show themselves. EmRes uses a sensible yet straightforward process to resolve those emotional body memories, removing them in a radical way. Afterward, that situation will no longer activate the triggered emotion/behavior. What remains is clear thinking and a kinder, healthier relationship with your body. Are you ready to let go of body stress? References 1. 5 Surprising Ways Stress Affects Your Workout, Cindy Kuzma, https://www.shape.com/lifestyle/mind-and-body/5-surprising-ways-stress-affects-your-workout Image by Kenny Holmes from Pixabay About Sue Sue Siebens uses Emotional Resolution, EmRes, to work at a fundamental level, where the roots of the illness, fear, and pain can be accessed and resolved. Sue teaches and writes to raise awareness about this new technologies so that as many people as possible can find relief and peace in their life. Sue is based in Dallas, Tx, USA.

We are all feeling it -- this pandemic malaise. After more than eighteen months of shutdowns, masks, vaccine hopes and new variants, we have come to the end of what psychologists call “surge capacity”—our physiological ability to draw on extra physical and mental resources in stressful situations. We are worn out, tired of the pandemic in all its phases, and need a break from the stress. Amy Cuddy and JillEllyn Riley [1] describe pandemic flux syndrome in their Washington Post article. Not a clinical condition, but a description of what “many people are [currently] experiencing: a starkly different set of feelings — blunted emotions, spikes in anxiety and depression, and a desire to drastically change something about their lives.”[1] To observe the extremes people are willing to go, one only needs to watch a few newscasts about “the big resignation” and the frantic search for new homes at skyrocketing costs. It’s an excellent article! It brought to mind EmRes sessions I’ve conducted and conversations I’ve had over the last few months. We are all responding to subconscious fears that have crept up on us in a slow but insidious way. It expresses as anxiety and depression at the same time. Emotional tensions brought on by fear often don’t feel like fear in the traditional sense. It can just feel uncomfortable, a low-level agitation or disquiet—a subconscious knowing that something is not right. And when it persists long enough, we’ll do something to quell the discomfort. Escape/Avoidance is about moving away from the situation or object of the fear. · Eating, drinking, exercising more to calm down than for the gastronomic joy or pleasure of movement? · Isolating after lockdown is over by resisting social interaction, safely in-person or otherwise · An overwhelming desire to stay in bed under a weighted blanket When we tried to return to normal, as we did between variant surges last summer, our expectations and experiences were unlikely to match. Too many big and small things have changed. In the confusing emptiness and discomfort that follows, we may then try to take control—another fear response. Taking Control/Overpowering is about controlling the situation(s) where fear represents itself. · Quitting your job without another one lined up (the great resignation) · Spending any amount on a new house (the current real-estate boom) · Moving out to the country or another state when your situation doesn’t require it · Traveling despite the obstacles of rapid testing, vaccine passports, and potential new travel restrictions and quarantines as you go · Showing up at public meetings and making demands for your comfort alone There is nothing particularly wrong with some of these actions. We buy houses, move to other states, enjoy food and drink, etc. But when done to quell the discomfort, it’s a fear response, and we should think about it differently. When we remove the underlying fears with Emotional Resolution, EmRes, we are confident that our inner demons do not drive our activities. We should travel, change jobs and locations, eat, drink and work out because we enjoy it. And not out of disquiet or unnamed concern. EmRes is a simple method of clearing unprocessed emotions from our past. These buried emotions disrupt our current life and behavior by derailing our perception by the triggered blinders. Our subconscious identifies present environmental stimuli similar to the original emotional injury circumstances and predicts the same will happen again. Using current events that trigger past emotions, EmRes resolves the emotional body memory, eradicating it. Each EmRes session is a quiet and calm conversation between the EmRes practitioner and the client. Each session has a starting point or goal, decided by the client. The practitioner guides the client through the EmRes process on one or many aspects of concern. The client remains fully conscious, in control and in a safe space for the session duration. EmRes won’t change your politics! But it will let go of past injuries and root your choices in the present. Are you ready to make fear-less decisions? References 1. Why this stage of the pandemic makes us so anxious By Amy Cuddy and JillEllyn Riley Photo by Braxton Apana on Unsplash About Sue Sue Siebens is an intuitive holistic healer based in Dallas, Texas. In her practice, she uses techniques that work at a fundamentallevel, where the roots of the illness, fear, and pain can be accessed and resolved. Sue teaches and writes to raise awareness about these new technologies so that as many people as possible can find relief and peace in their life.

”I recently supported a client during an Emotional Resolution session who wanted to face her heaviness/dread about her student loan debt. We spent an hour exploring all the feelings that came up for her around the existence of this debt she's carried for over 20 years: · feelings of shame · feelings of unworthiness · feelings of anger at the system · feelings of fear of it never going away After this session, she felt clear...and DONE. So clear in fact, that she started cleaning house in other areas of her life - putting boundaries with people she had previously not been able to, clearing up other areas of confusion/avoidance with money, speaking up for herself where she's been needing to. All without reaction or charge. And all by addressing this one thing she's been avoiding. I love how EmRes creates a Domino Effect. --Stephanie Dawn Clark, EmRes Practitioner ” Above is a post from one of my collegues, Stephanie Clark, and she is so right! It is literally like we have a set of dominos called anger. The different “spots” on the dominos are the stimulus and circumstances that trigger that “version” of anger. The anger-dominos range from feeling very similar to each other to feeling very different. But because of how we are taught to label our emotions we call everything in the box anger. It’s how we label emotions that we experience. We group like feelings under similar emotion words. This is not good or bad—it is just how neurobiologists understand how emotions are made. When you open up the emotion-domino set using Emotional Resolution®, EmRes®, you pick up one domino piece at a time and clear it. During the session you may explore more pieces in the anger-box, for instance, and work on pieces that come from other boxes like shame, unworthiness or fear. It’s an organic progression through the emotional situation and tension that you are trying to resolve in your life. The EmRes Domino Effect is that each time you clear an emotional-domino, it may also knock down other dominos around it, from it’s own box or another box. They may have come from the same emotional injury-the high-stress event that created the trigger-able emotion (the domino) in the first place. We don’t need to know what those original high-stress events were, when it was or who was involved. The emotional root reveals itself by being triggered in our current life. EmRes uses current triggered emotions and feelings to access it. And once we clear the root, buried emotions are resolved and will not be triggered again. And down the dominos fall! It’s like a force multiplier! Address emotional situations and related ones will come down too. Are you ready to play EmRes Dominos? Image by Дмитрий Филюшин from Pixabay About Sue Sue Siebens is an intuitive holistic healer based in Dallas, Texas. In her practice, she uses techniques that work at a fundamentallevel, where the roots of the illness, fear, and pain can be accessed and resolved. Sue teaches and writes to raise awareness about these new technologies so that as many people as possible can find relief and peace in their life.

How do the critical personal relationships in our life make us feel? Are we happy, sad, eager to see them again, a little worried about the next encounter or disagreement? All relationships have their ups and downs. Each of us has our own background, experiences, and personal emotional work to do. Misunderstandings happen, and sometimes we bring our frustration from elsewhere into the intimate dynamics of our family and friends. It is only human—we are emotional beings. There is, however, a difference between relationships that need work and the toxic interactions that spell codependence. Healthy relationships can be mutually beneficial and last a lifetime based on respect, equality, safety, and trust. Generally, these relationships start out great—or we wouldn’t stay in them. Healthy relationships change and grow with both partners willing to bend and find solutions. There is open communication. Disagreements are handled fairly and calmly, don’t result in childish tactics, and apologies are safe and accepted. Short-term problems don’t become long-term patterns. There is lots of trust, healthy boundaries, and no mind games. And finally, strife inside healthy relationships doesn’t get so large as to affect outside areas like work, school, or community activities. [2] We all navigate relationships in our own way. If we see shadowy interactions appear, it’s time to examine those interactions for what is lacking. Have they become unreliable, insincere, challenging/threatening shifting? Has the relationship shifted slowly over time, and now we find ourselves looking at a person who is nothing like the one we fell into a relationship with?[1] An unhealthy relationship exists if we are trying to fix the other person or are constantly adjusting our needs, attitude, and communication to accommodate an adult. Why do we stay? Are we hanging in there for reasons such as feeling sympathy for their life circumstances or fearing the opinion of friends and family? Are we too uncomfortable with being alone in the world without them? It takes two to tango. Regardless of either side's “correctness” or “wrongness”, it takes two people interacting to create an unbalanced relationship. And we must recognize that we do not have the means or ability to change another person. No amount of patience or fortitude on our part will help if they are not willing to change or grow of their own volition. In the end, their actions speak louder than words, and any lip service to atone for actions or behavior is not enough. We can only change ourselves. By releasing our emotional fog and confusition that exists in unhealthy relationships, we can change how we feel about what they say and do, how we respond and how we feel about our own actions and reactions. We can bring emotional balance back into our life by letting go of the emotional tension that keeps us locked in a stagnant cycle of behavior. Emotions that drive our behavior When emotions are repeatedly suppressed—voluntarily blocked, they will eventually go silent and become repressed—unconsciously blocked. Repressed emotions are expressed as behaviors or physical afflictions (chronic and idiopathic diseases—a topic for another blogpost). Emotional behaviors in an unhealthy relationship can be characterized under the broad categories of codependence. “Somewhere along the line, we learned to doubt our perception, discount our feelings, and overlook our needs. We looked to others to tell us what to think, feel, and behave. Other people supplied us with information about who we were and should be. It became more important to be compliant or avoidant rather than to be authentic, and we adopted rigid beliefs about what “should be.” We believed that if we could just “get it right,” things would be okay. When we “got it wrong,” our sense of security and self-worth evaporated. [3]” These are emotion-driven behaviors—repressed emotions that we may no longer be aware of; it’s just “who we are in the world”—a part of our personality. But we don’t have to stay that way. We now have Emotional Resolution®, EmRes®, at our disposal. We can change our reactions, behaviors and brighten our life. · When repressed emotions are resolved, we see ourselves and our situations more clearly and behave more appropriately. · EmRes removes subconscious connections to emotional injuries permanently, eliminating the triggers that keep us bound up. We can use EmRes Sessions whenever emotional triggers and behaviors erupt in our life. · EmRes processes old emotional injuries that we may or may not remember. · EmRes doesn’t need to know when, where, why, or who was involved in the original injury. · Address what is troubling you now, and the past will become history instead of triggers. Since there is no wasted time digging around in the past, EmRes represents a clear time and money saving advantage over other techniques. It’s your choice how and how much to include EmRes in your life · EmRes sessions address the situation/emotional response of your choice. o Work on your primary issue from several angles in one or several sessions until it’s resolved. o Use EmRes several sessions to address complex, chronic issues. EmRes sessions in a series can cleanup one problem after another until you reach a good place of contentment in your life. · EmRes emotional healing adjusts to your needs and capacity. Start, stop on your schedule, and when something else surfaces, start again. It’s up to you. Stand in Your Emotional Power with EmRes. Do you desire healthy and loving relationships? References 1. 4 things that make a relationship healthy or unhealthy, by Sam Killermann, https://www.loveisrespect.org/resources/4-things-that-make-a-relationship-healthy-or-unhealthy/ 2. 11 Subtle Differences Between A Toxic Relationship Vs. One That Just Needs Work, by Carolyn Steber, https://www.bustle.com/p/11-subtle-differences-between-a-toxic-relationship-vs-one-that-just-needs-work-9273462 3. What is codependence, https://coda.org/ 4. Image by Scott Webb from Pixabay About Sue Sue Siebens is an intuitive holistic healer based in Dallas, Texas. In her practice, she uses techniques that work at a fundamentallevel, where the roots of the illness, fear, and pain can be accessed and resolved. Sue teaches and writes to raise awareness about these new technologies so that as many people as possible can find relief and peace in their life.

Most of our emotions don’t have names—many of our emotions surface and express as behaviors instead of overt feelings. Sometimes we don’t share our thoughts and feelings or use our words to maintain our boundaries in moments when it is appropriate and justifiable to do so. These frozen or inhibited behaviors ARE the emotional expression of the emotions we are unable to express. In the moment, it may feel like nothing—that no emotion is present. These behaviors can be so ingrained that we assume it’s just a personality trait. Maybe we are quiet and introverted, or we do not speak up because we don’t want to upset others or create conflict. There is nothing wrong with being a calm person or wanting to avoid conflict. But not standing our ground can be mistaken for weakness and lead to incorrect conclusions by others. · If we are frozen in silence when in a heated discussion, then we are giving our approval by not engaging, whether we agree or not. · When we cannot navigate conflict with customers or clients, which leads to an unfair exchange of our time, products or resources, it is likely to happen again. · If we are knowledgeable, but the words get tangled up when spoken, we don’t come across as the experts we are. Not being able to make our needs known can prevent us from getting the help we need. · The frustration and wasted time of slogging through the trials of self-learning can be eminently defeating. Not being able to ask for direction or redirection when needed can be detrimental to our work experience and the boss’s notions about our abilities and future success. Wanting to appear strong and capable is admirable. There is no shame in asking for help if we need assistance due to mobility, visual, hearing or dexterity issues. Being a martyr is not helpful to us or anyone else. So how do we find our voice when our behavior is the only clear action? When the emotions have gone silent, and only the behaviors speak, it can be difficult to characterize or identify what emotion(s) we need to work on or where they originated. Also, many small-ish unexpressed emotions, such as frustrations and anxieties, have accumulated in the moments, hours and even days leading up to the resulting behavioral expression. Resolving Behavior Through Buried Emotions With Emotional Resolution®, EmRes® these unknowns don’t need to be known. It is one of the great beauties of EmRes. By working on a current emotional/behavioral event, the original unprocessed emotion is resolved. Inhibitions and frozen moments are precisely connected to past high-stress emotions—our bodies house and “clean up” our emotional experiences as part of their innate duties. If our bodies get distracted from this job, the emotional memories remain in the body as imprints. These emotional imprints will get triggered by stimuli in our surroundings. If we are experiencing an unwanted emotion, it is just our body telling us we have an unprocessed emotion that needs taken tending. EmRes is like the wash and bandaid for a cut or scrape—the body knows how to heal itself. We just need to give the body a “clean and safe” environment to do its job. It is the same with emotions and behaviors. Resolving emotion is an innate and natural process and EmRes is the first aid kit. Where are you stuck in silence? Image by Christopher Ross from Pixabay About Sue Sue Siebens is an intuitive holistic healer based in Dallas, Texas. In her practice, she uses techniques that work at a fundamentallevel, where the roots of the illness, fear, and pain can be accessed and resolved. Sue teaches and writes to raise awareness about these new technologies so that as many people as possible can find relief and peace in their life.

As we watch athletes, amateurs, professionals, and Olympians, we marvel at their physical skills and performance. The mental discipline needed to execute hours of repetition and practice that creates the ability to compete at a high level is stunning. Peaking physically and performing flawlessly at just the right moment in competition can have emotional tolls that are costly to the athlete and largely unwitnessed by the fan. By the time we see an athlete break down under pressure, the powder-keg has been smoldering for a long time. There are so many feelings and thoughts that pass through us as we build-up to the performance. From our first catch, kick, jump, or throw of a competitive sport, we are constantly analyzing and judging our effort throughout our athletic career. Our coaches, teammates, parents, friends and fans also share their opinions of how we play, prepare and recover. Living under this microscope can help us improve. Still, the constant measuring can weigh heavily, even if we passionately love the sport. The NCAA says the most common psychiatric disorders in student-athletes are in these categories · Anxiety disorders · Mood disorders · Personality disorders · Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder · Eating disorders · Body dysmorphic disorder · Adjustment disorders · Substance use disorders · Impulse control disorders · Psychosomatic illnesses [1] How do we accept constant assessment without driving ourselves into an emotional abyss? Ideally, and hopefully soon, every athlete would have Emotional Resolution® as a resource, incorporated into their training regimen. Self-Emotional Resolution, Self-EmRes, is an essential part of emotional self-care. Self-EmRes allows a person older than 11years to resolve emotional issues when they are experiencing the emotion. Self EmRes Example 1: Coach says you aren’t working up to your full potential today; why are you fooling around or wasting time? An emotional response might be shame, anger, resentment. But instead of pushing it aside to boil over later, Self-EmRes will remove the embedded emotional memory causing the current feelings. Addressing the in-flight emotion only takes up to 2 minutes! Pushing it down is a temporary coping technique. While it may help in the moment, methods of “coping” with emotions, like breathing, counting, and other distractions, do not remove the emotions. Coping just pushes them off to a later, usually more explosive, emotional event. The next time your coach comments on your lack of focus, you will hear it differently—less emotionally. You might agree or disagree, but there will certainly be less emotion clouding your reaction. This clarity allows you to move on to make adjustment or confront the coach on her opinion and work it out. Self EmRes Example 2: After a break from tennis, a man was excited to get back to regular play. But he felt his serve was his biggest weakness. He was always nervous from preparation to follow through. After learning Self-EmRes, he practiced resolving his fear before service. It took a couple times to work through different aspect of his serve. Now he can focus on techniques to make the serve better instead of “just knowing that he sucks at serving”. He’s happy to be back on the court and happier still in the improvement in his game. Addressing the internal conversation about skills and abilities can be a reflection of fear, shame and anxiety. Talking yourself into being brave, a coping skill, will not remove the emotion. Resolving the emotion takes care of it permanently. Emotional Resolution for Kids, EmRes-Kids, is an essential part of every coach’s and teacher’s emotional aid kit. Children between 7 and 11 years can be led through resolving emotions in the moment. And through repetition, they learn how to take responsibility for their stresses. We put our children in competitive sports very young. This emotional tool helps them with anxiety and the fear of letting others down, particularly parents, if they do not perform up to par. EmRes-Kids technique is adapted to be easily understood by children 7-11 years. Instant Emotional Resolution, Instant-EmRes, helps another person with emotional difficulty if they don’t know Self-EmRes. We can all give compassionate emotional first aid to others, helping other human beings in our community. EmRes-Kids | Instant-EmRes Example: A teenage boy made a mistake causing a foul, and his team lost the game. His father, still full of fan adrenaline, yells at him for making such a dumb error, “You know better. We’ve practiced this a million times!” and walks off. The boy has disappointed his teammates, school, and his father—essentially his whole world. My colleague, an EmRes Practitioner, asked his mother for permission to try Instant-EmRes to help him. Within two minutes, the boy had stopped crying and had rejoined his teammates in post-game commiseration. This example could have been for a younger child using EmRes-Kids. Both EmRes-Kids and Instant-EmRes are to help someone else that is in emotional pain. Emotional Resolution® Sessions, EmRes®, involves more profound work than the emotion of the moment. If the emotional moment has passed, the unintegrated emotional memory has not gone away. It just lays in wait for the next environmental stimulus to prod our subconscious into recall. EmRes® Sessions address these emotional events anytime after they erupt in our day-to-day lives. There is no need to know where or why it’s there and no need retrigger the original emotional injury. The body has an innate ability to integrate the memory related to the physical/visceral sensations we feel when experiencing an emotion. EmRes® helps the body do the integartion while we are safe, fully conscious, and alert. EmRes® sessions for sports performance can resolve emotions related to preparation and training, execution, pre-and post-event, and the analysis, critique, and criticism from everyone from the coach to press and social media. Wherever the stresses lay are the fodder for Emotional Resolution. Emotional Resolution Session Example 1: A football player had a severe groin pull that he favored when returning to the active play. During the EmRes Session, he worked on emotions met during the last post-injury game and then the stress of being injured and not recovering as fast as he wanted. Interestingly, when he returned to the game after EmRes, his opponents did not seem as large and ferocious as when he first returned. His “game” was back. Emotional Resolution Session Example 2: A young girl joined a soccer team for the first time. Her parents noticed that she was running up and down the field okay. However, she was not kicking the ball or making goals like the other girls. During an her EmRes session, she worked on being afraid of the ball and the consequences of kicking or touching the ball during the game and making goals or not. Her next game was a complete turnaround—no fear of the ball! You would never have known there was a problem at all. Emotional Resolution Session Example 3: A baseball pitch came to EmRes because his game had fallen flat. He had been a good pitcher, but in recent games he wasn’t performing well at all. During the EmRes session, he worked on not wanting to disappoint his Dad who was coaching him from the stand behind home plate. Good advice or not, Dad’s pressure made him so afraid of failure that he couldn’t pitch. Afterward the EmRes work, he was back to himself—a great baseball pitcher. Getting rid of the emotions that cloud our athletic performance is not to suggest that sport should be emotionless. While the fans might get a charge from athletes roaring like bears to channel their angst, the highest athletic achievements are performed when overwhelming emotions do not cloud their prowess. The excitement and adrenaline still flow! But, the clear, focused mind is more effective in finding a way past competitors. It helps develop nuance in athletic skills and exploit subtle observations of their own performance and their opponents’ weaknesses. When everything is on the line, are you calm about your performance? Or are you battling emotions? References 1. Mind, Body and Sport: The psychiatrist perspective, Todd Stull, https://www.ncaa.org/sport-science-institute/mind-body-and-sport-psychiatrist-perspective About Sue Sue Siebens is an intuitive holistic healer based in Dallas, Texas. In her practice, she uses techniques that work at a fundamentallevel, where the roots of the illness, fear, and pain can be accessed and resolved. Sue teaches and writes to raise awareness about these new technologies so that as many people as possible can find relief and peace in their life.

So, I like posting a blog at the beginning of every month to make sure a blog is written every month. But this month, I just can’t get to it. I find myself derailed, surfing through horse rescue videos on Facebook, looking for out-of-season craft products online, snack breaks, no food in the house grocery store run, call a friend, and check my email. But there is no blog construction. It is not that I do not want to do it. I enjoy writing. It is fun to research what other folks have to say about my topic, apply it to what I want to say, edit, refine, and then publish. It brings me a great sense of accomplishment. So why am I avoiding this activity I love? Procrastination has nothing to do with the desire to do something. It is about the hidden emotions that push us away from the activity. These hidden emotions are buried in the subconscious and not expressed or felt “loudly” like anger, fear, or even depression, which we usually think of as a quiet emotion. The avoidance of the task IS the emotional expression. Some unintegrated emotional experience in our past is triggered by the task we want to perform. It could be self-doubt, low self-esteem, anxiety or insecurity.[1] A negative subconscious association defects us from approaching the task with confidence to get the job started and completed. The procrastination around writing this blog is in my face currently. But we have many tasks in our life that get put on the back burner: big projects, little chores, 5-seconds of focused effort that do not get done. How can we get rid of procrastination? We resolve the emotions that are in our way. Emotional Resolution, EmRes, removes the unintegrated emotion, which opens up time and opportunity to get the job done. It doesn’t take much EmRes to clear out whatever is pushing me away. And now I write the blog 😊 Are you ready to get things done? References 1. Why You Procrastinate (It Has Nothing to Do With Self-Control), Charlotte Lieberman, https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/25/smarter-living/why-you-procrastinate-it-has-nothing-to-do-with-self-control.html Image by Pexels from Pixabay About Sue Sue Siebens is an intuitive holistic healer based in Dallas, Texas. In her practice, she uses techniques that work at a fundamentallevel, where the roots of the illness, fear, and pain can be accessed and resolved. Sue teaches and writes to raise awareness about these new technologies so that as many people as possible can find relief and peace in their life.