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By Sue Siebens Who is to blame for the disappointments and missteps we experience? Is it us? Or is it THEM?! Blame shifting, or blaming others for our mistakes, is a defense mechanism or self-protection. As a coping strategy, we sometimes project our failures onto others by using them as scapegoats. Avoiding difficult and challenging emotions such as shame, guilt, hurt, disappointment, sadness and feelings of inadequacy or powerlessness, by blaming is a quick escape.[1] It can seem natural to look outward for a cause rather than turning inwards on ourselves. It’s often done unconsciously. · I was late because of the traffic. · They never call me, so we don’t talk anymore. · I failed the test because the teacher was awful. · My partner doesn’t love me enough, so I feel bad about myself. · That cop had it out for me. I was going to get the tail light fixed soon. · That driver is insane. Don‘t they know the rest of us can occupy the road too? · The government is not helping its citizens. · My job is tedious because management doesn’t care. It’s making someone else responsible for choices and decisions that are ours to make. To be clear, this is not to suggest that the other party is blameless. But we have a part in every situation we attend. Perhaps we have a blind spot about our ability to change the situation. And to be a little brutal, there is a familiarity and laziness in complaining [2]--not taking responsibility for our side of the problem and growing a little as a result. Get out of the blaming rut Blame shifting is sparked by someone doing something to us. We ignore all responsibility for asserting our needs, saying no or going elsewhere for what we want or need. [2] Emotions are triggering this behavior, and we are self-soothing by pushing it off on others. Triggered emotions are prompted by current environmental cues, but the emotion being played out is from the past. Emotions felt in this provoked way keep us stuck in the same behavior pattern. We don’t see that we could react differently. And so we are bound to repeat the blaming repeatedly in countless situations. Part of the problem is that our feelings feel justified--They did wrong, and I’m in the right. And the triggered emotions that lead to blaming can be subtle. They may not feel like typical emotions of anger or frustration. It can sometimes feel like we are just along for the right—it’s out of our hands. We didn’t initiate it, and it is not our fault. When we experience blaming behavior, the underlying emotion originates in the past. Unprocessed emotions from high-stress events can linger in the body and be awakened by similar situations as we move forward. Emotions, and behaviors triggered by emotions, that last longer that a few seconds are triggered and have a unprocessed component that can be remedied. Emotional Resolution, EmRes, is an emerging technique that addresses the underlying causes of triggered emotions through vicerosomatic quieting. In the private, calm and safe space of an EmRes session, the emotion is processed through interoception, feeling body sensations. This way, the lingering emotion is resolved permanently and will not return. The blaming behavior is broken completely, and the relationship with the other party shifts. We find that the “bully-victim relationship” is undone. With the trigger gone, new ideas and behaviors for handling similar situation spring up unbidden. They can act their way, but we have access to more choices. Are you ready to change your blame game? References 1. 7 Consequences of Blaming Others for How We Manage Anger, Bernard Golden PhD, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/overcoming-destructive-anger/201811/7-consequences-blaming-others-how-we-manage-anger 2. 15 types of distorted thinking, 12/15: Blaming, Peter Ledden, https://abatecounselling.ie/2018/11/23/blaming/ Image by Afif Ramdhasuma from Pixabay About Sue Sue Siebens uses Emotional Resolution, EmRes, to work at a fundamental level, where the roots of the illness, fear, and pain can be accessed and resolved. Sue teaches and writes to raise awareness about this new technology so that as many people as possible can find relief and peace in their life. Sue is based in Dallas, Tx, USA.

By Sue Siebens Money and finance are easy to be scared of. We live in a Material World—just ask George Harrison or Madonna. Money flows into and out of our pockets. Our fear measures this balance. An abundance of in-flow with moderate outflow can help us feel secure. But switch it to less coming in than going out, and we feel on the precipice of disaster. After all, while money does not buy happiness, it sure does offer us choices—the less money and the few options we have. At the extreme, we feel our back is to the wall, and panic can set in. Some everyday money worries are: · Lack of understanding when it comes to how money and finances work · Debt burdens, particularly non-secured debt such as credit card · Losing a job or income source, divorce, losing the ability to work · Talking about money with partners: business, financial, family or spouse · Losing, running out or not having enough money to fund future needs, whether it's a child's education, support parents, retirement or paying rent and buying food for the next month.[1] These are all serious issues and should not be ignored or pushed aside. And at the same time, we can be very emotional when it comes to money issues which cloud our judgment and ability to plan effectively. Understanding that there is a problem and having a sense of urgency about it is a good thing. But often, we feel panicky, overwhelmed, depressed and may give up. These triggered emotions obscure good options and decision-making. Now is not the time to be muddled with emotions. It is best to rid ourselves of triggered emotions related to money to help avoid financial mistakes. Emotional Resolution, EmRes, will do precisely that. EmRes removes the emotional stress that fogs our thoughts. Clearing unprocessed emotions with EmRes frees us to be rational and make sound financial choices. Unprocessed emotions remain in our bodies because of high-stress events that temporarily overwhelm the body's natural capacity to manage them. Uncomfortable feelings that last more than a few seconds are triggered emotions. EmRes uses the body's same natural ability to complete what was left undone. It gives the body the space and time to finish processing the lingering emotional imprints. EmRes sessions are private, calm conversations that use interoception, feeling body sensations, to effectively do this work. Remembering or sharing the original high-stress event or emotional injury is not necessary. We may remember past emotional events. But we'll not be triggered going forward --not tomorrow, next week or ever. The Emotional Health Institute developed Emotional Resolution. Using modern neuropsychology as its basis, EmRes is not a coping skill but offers actual resolution and cessation of triggers. Thousands of EmRes sessions take place around the world each day. If you are emotional about your financial situation, you are being manipulated by unprocessed emotions. Clear your feelings and see your problem without the emotional fog. You will feel differently, be open to solutions and be able to take appropriate action. Are you ready to take a serious look at your finances without emotions? References 1. Financial Fears: 17 Common Money Worries, https://wwhttps://womenwhomoney.com/common-financial-fears-overcome-money-worries/ Image by Sally Jermain from Pixabay About Sue Sue Siebens uses Emotional Resolution, EmRes, to work at a fundamental level, where the roots of the illness, fear, and pain can be accessed and resolved. Sue teaches and writes to raise awareness about this new technology so that as many people as possible can find relief and peace in their life. Sue is based in Dallas, Tx, USA.

By Sue Siebens Is it fear of failure? Or is it knowing that winning will never be an option for me—at least not without a painful struggle? Imposter syndrome is when we feel incompetent, incapable or unqualified regardless of our skills, training or experience. It is the negative self-talk that has us restless and nervous about our performance. Common characteristics include: · An inability to realistically assess your competence and skills · Attributing your success to external factors · Berating your performance · Fear that you won't live up to expectations · Overachieving · Sabotaging your success · Self-doubt · Setting very challenging goals and feeling disappointed when you fall short[1] We are pressed on all sides by the need to achieve. It's a big ask, especially when first starting. If we do succeed but not in a big way, that also is a kind of failure. "Ultimately, the impostor phenomenon becomes a cycle. Afraid of being discovered as a fraud, people with impostor feelings go through contortions to do a project perfectly. When they succeed, they begin to believe all that anxiety and effort paid off. Eventually, they develop almost superstitious beliefs, thinking their successes must be due to that self-torture."[2] Imposter syndrome feelings and behaviors are self-defeating barriers to success. Imposter syndrome occurs in people of all backgrounds, ages and genders. There is a variety of contributing influencers. · Overcontrolling or overprotective parenting · Mixed messages from parents, such as flipping back and forth between offering praise and being critical · High levels of conflict with low levels of support · High pressures to achieve combined with a lack of experience · Low self-efficacy – your ability to succeed · Perfectionism · Social anxiety · Experienced discrimination or exclusion[3] Impostor syndrome even exists among high achievers who cannot internalize and accept their success. It’s the confusion between approval, love and worthiness.[2] There is lots of advice out there to cope with the false narratives of imposter syndrome: · Fake it until you make it · Face until you make it · Failing is good. That is how we learn. Work, fail, learn from it, work, fail, learn, etc., until you get it right · Stop comparing yourself to others. We all advance at our own pace. · Take baby steps—give up perfection and focus on progress These strategies are about forcing action. But having the courage to do something you are afraid of takes a lot of energy and work! AND these coping mechanisms don’t get rid of the problem—cope now, but it will play out again the next time you’re in a similar situation. Getting beyond feelings of self-doubt and incompetence When we experience these emotions, we tend to believe these expressions are part of our core personality and we are stuck with them. Sometimes we will think that knowing the details of the original wounds will free us. Too often, we accept that emotional wounds are complicated and dealing with them is too complex and painful. None of this is true! Emotional Resolution, EmRes, is the easiest way to remove the emotional stress that makes our life less than perfect. Instead of being courageous, EmRes allows us to be rationally fearless. When we feel uncomfortable emotions for longer than a few seconds, we are reexperiencing an unprocessed emotion. During high-stress events, in-flight emotions may not be entirely processed by our bodies. When there are other more essential survival priorities, unprocessed emotions remain in our bodies as emotional-sensory imprints. These are the triggered emotions when we encounter similar situations in the future. Emotional Resolution, developed by the Emotional Health Institute, uses current understandings in modern neuropsychology. EmRes is not another coping mechanism. It is a body of work based on interoception, watching physical sensations to clear triggered emotions. EmRes creates the time and space for the body to process the unprocessed emotions. EmRes removes the emotional-sensory imprints permanently. Once gone, they can not be triggered again. Addressing unprocessed emotions in the EmRes way has some unique benefits: · Sessions are like having a calm conversation with a friend. · We don’t have to know the origin or details of the original emotional injury. · Even if remembered, sessions do not involve reliving or triggered · There is no need to share personal details if it is too uncomfortable · Emotional relief is a result of each EmRes session. Complex issues often require just a few sessions. If you feel incompetent, incapable or unqualified, regardless of your skills, then you are being pressured by unprocessed emotions to feel and think that way. Imposter syndrome can change with EmRes. You can rise to a place of calmness and confidence in spaces where you felt otherwise. Are you ready to believe in yourself and live your life fearlessly? References 1. What Is Imposter Syndrome?, by Arlin Cuncic, https://www.verywellmind.com/imposter-syndrome-and-social-anxiety-disorder-4156469#citation-3 ,(4. Sakulku J, Alexander J. The imposter phenomenon. Int J Behav Sci. 2011;6(1):73-92. doi:10.14456/IJBS.2011.6) 2. Feel like a fraud?, by Kirsten Weir, https://www.apa.org/gradpsych/2013/11/fraud 3. What Is Imposter Syndrome?, by Arlin Cuncic, https://www.verywellmind.com/imposter-syndrome-and-social-anxiety-disorder-4156469#citation-3 Photo by Microsoft Edge on Unsplash About Sue Sue Siebens uses Emotional Resolution, EmRes, to work at a fundamental level, where the roots of the illness, fear, and pain can be accessed and resolved. Sue teaches and writes to raise awareness about this new technology so that as many people as possible can find relief and peace in their life. Sue is based in Dallas, Tx, USA.

By Sue Siebens Fear is a huge distraction. It erodes our competency and steals our agency. Instinctual fear is automatic and required—it’s a survival thing. But triggered fears are not based in our current reality; they are only reflections of past experiences prompted by current sensorial cues. Being repeatedly afraid without a survival threat changes how we view others, ourselves and our place in the world. We lose our ability to manage risk and threats effectively. Our capacity to deal with life is diminished. [1] This is the fifth and final installment on Fear-Based Behaviors. (Read from the first post in the series here.) Our fifth topic in this series is Seducing: Going Toward the Fear. What if we could make friends with a fear that dominates us? From people-pleasing and codependence to Stockholm syndrome, negotiating directly with the source of our fear is a common strategy. Often people-pleasing is a learned behavior of hoping for better treatment from those that have mistreated them. Kindness is not the same thing. Being kind and cooperative in relationships allows for self-care and maintaining boundaries. People-pleasing demonstrates a reluctance to “disappoint” others at our own expense—even if it seems minor at the time. Others will see that we can be taken advantage of, and they will. Signs that you are a people-pleaser: · You can’t say no or speak up for ourselves · You often apologize either due to excessively blaming yourself or thinking you will be accused you beat others to the punch · You pretend to agree with everyone because you want to be liked. · You are uncomfortable when someone is displeased or angry with you and go to great lengths to avoid conflict · You won’t admit when your feelings are hurt · You feel responsible for how other people feel · You act like the people around you, including setting aside your own goals and agency and adopting other’s, if you think it will please them · You need praise and validation to feel good about yourself, your work or your circumstances · You feel burdened by the things you have to do, especially if someone else wants you to do it [2] Sometimes we feel as if it is our only choice. It can be hard to hold our ground in the face of someone who needs us or is a bully or abuser. It can be challenging if we fear that being or saying what we truly want and need will negatively damage our relationships. The guilt and fear of rejection or disappointment can be overwhelming. If the opposing person becomes indignant or retaliatory when we say no, it becomes easier and easier to comply with their wishes and abandon our own needs. [3] So how do we let go of these fears that make us submit repeatedly? The emotions stoking our fear have been with us so long our subconscious now drives it. Whether we remember their origin or not, these subconscious fears are the remnants of emotions left unprocessed during a high-stress event. High-stress events are different for each person—what stresses me out may not worry you and vice versa. The body handles all emotions we experience. Every day, our body feels physical sensations associated with emotions and cleans them up. Under high-stress conditions, our body may be too occupied with other concerns to do its clean-up work. In this case, the emotional sensory imprint lingers in the body. This imprint is the source of the triggered emotion. Emotional Resolution, EmRes, is a body of work based on interoception, feeling physical sensations. EmRes allows the body to process the unprocessed emotional imprints that remain in the body. EmRes is based in the understanding and developments of modern neuropsychology. It is not another coping method. EmRes removes the sensory imprint permanently. Once the emotional sensory imprint is gone, it will not be triggered by current circumstances. It is gone—no more triggering. There are benefits to using interoception to reach the root of unprocessed emotion. · We don’t have to know how, where, when or why the original emotion was left unprocessed. · There is no reliving of the original event, even if it is remembered · It is not required to share personal details if it’s too uncomfortable · Each session brings relief; usually, only a few sessions are necessary for more complex issues. The pace and frequency of EmRes' work is driven by the desire to feel better. Each EmRes session is complete in and of itself. But of course, the more triggered emotions are resolved, the better your life will be, and the more you will be able to stand in your power. So: · When are you trying to befriend or seduce the source of the fear? · When do you agree, even when it goes against your best interest? · When do you cover up your personality and behave like “them” to fit in? · When do you agree to activities that are not in alignment with your goals or happiness? · When do you need compliments to feel happy or appreciated? · When are you people-pleasing to avoid conflict? EmRes can lead you to the contentment to step up to your own life with confidence. References 1. Running Toward Fear: the Key to Reducing Anxiety, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-older-dad/201211/running-toward-fear-the-key-reducing-anxiety 2. 10 Signs You're a People-Pleaser, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201708/10-signs-youre-people-pleaser 3. Are You a People-Pleaser?, https://whatiscodependency.com/what-causes-people-pleasing-are-you-a-people-pleaser/ Photo by Mathilda Khoo on Unsplash About Sue Sue Siebens uses Emotional Resolution, EmRes, to work at a fundamental level, where the roots of the illness, fear, and pain can be accessed and resolved. Sue teaches and writes to raise awareness about this new technology so that as many people as possible can find relief and peace in their life. Sue is based in Dallas, Tx, USA.

By Sue Siebens Many of our behaviors are based on subconscious fears from past traumas and collected coping skills. Often we ascribe certain behaviors to aspects of our personality: shy, loud, arrogant, pushy, peace-maker, perfectionist. Regardless of how expressed, personality traits show up on a spectrum that reflects our inner emotional states. While we may not feel the need to change, we will be more content and joyous when we aren’t constantly reacting to situations with fear. This is the fourth installment on Fear-Based Behaviors. (Read from the first post in the series here.) Our fourth topic in this series is Overpower/Taking Control: Controlling the Fear. We all want to control what happens in our lives to some measure. Behind almost every controlling action is fear, such as being alone, rejected, or of poverty or other trauma-based emotional imprints. These behaviors are driven by anxiety and the need to feel safe. [1] Control can go two ways: toward the self and others. Self-control is something we learn as we grow from kids to adults. It includes · impulse control—stop and think before acting, · emotional control – coping and managing disappointments and feelings, · movement control – managing how your body moves and when Collectively, these executive functions keep our relationships with ourselves and others running smoothly. When these controls are not integrated, we can display the following behaviors: · Lack verbal filters, blurt things out, interrupt, talk out of turn, talk too much · Act without thinking, rush through tasks and assignments, procrastinate, inconsistently follow rules · Get frustrated quickly, not handle criticism when things get tough or give up entirely · Have trouble maintaining emotional equilibrium, overreacting to disappointments and victories · Physical restless, fidgety, can’t sit still or stay in line · Disrupt games and conversations with movement, unaware of their physical space and run into people [2] There are also ways we control how we feel and situations that are uncomfortable: · Using alcohol, TV, meditation, breath-work, recreational drugs, sex, and exercise to shift our mood · Living downtown because we are afraid of driving, living far away from our parents or family · Excusing ourselves by saying that we are not feeling well because we do not want to see relatives at thanksgiving? Or coworkers at a party Sometimes people that lack self-control fill that void by controlling others. In a way, they project their shortcomings on others.[3] Outward controlling behavior is when a person expects, compels, or requires others to cater to their own needs – even at the others’ expense. [4] Common behaviors include: · Being uncomfortable in new circumstances and often being unwilling to adapt to them · Excessive need to impress others, be someone’s BFF or teacher’s pet · Lying and manipulating others to direct events and choices · Jealously not allowing partners to have their own friends, particularly friends of the opposite sex or gender they are attracted to · Micromanaging employees or family members · Controlling all conversations, talking over, frequently interrupting · Using the “silent treatment” instead of words to express displeasure · Bad-mouthing and belittling other’s appearance or behavior to affect change · Being a penny pincher, controlling all the finances, hiding accounts · Shifting the blame for their own behavior to their target These examples of self-control or other control expand in scope and volume on a spectrum of abuse and personality disorders. [5] It’s all about fear and controlling things to ease uncomfortable feelings. Despite how trivial or abusive the controlling behaviors are, getting rid of the fear frees all parties involved. We may not want to admit that we lack self-control or are controlling others (except maybe our kids, which is a necessary obligation they should age out of quite quickly.) But don’t reject this idea out of hand. Take the time to look at the little manipulations, redirections and shifting power dynamics in your relationships. We all have these behaviors to some degree. If you are willing to let go of the fear behind these exchanges, you will find yourself in relationships with less stress and drama. You will still recognize when your voice and authority are needed, but it won’t be driven by fear, *heavy sigh of relief!* So how do we let go of these hidden fears that push us to control? Behaviors are emotions that are not felt consciously. The subconscious connects a current environmental stimulus (sights, sounds, smells, life situations, etc.) with an unprocessed emotional memory. And we are triggered because the unprocessed emotional memory still exists. The entire body is our emotional organ. When an emotion is stimulated, it appears in the body first, and the body quickly “cleans up” the emotional message after it has been received. The brain reacts by deciding what action to take. Sometimes in high-stress situations, the body doesn’t have the time or opportunity to finish the cleanup job, and an imprint of the emotion remains in the body. This unprocessed emotional imprint is the source of the future-triggered emotion. Emotional Resolution, EmRes, is a body of work designed to resolve unprocessed emotional memories. By accessing recent triggered emotional episodes, EmRes directs the body to clean up imprints, which breaks down the triggering cycle. It is not necessary to know how, when, where or why the emotion was stuck in the first place. And it is not required to share personal details beyond the outline of the specific emotional episode being addressed. The subconscious knows all the details and secrets already. EmRes employs the subconscious to direct the body’s cleanup work directly to the emotional root of the problem. Then using interoception, feeling body sensations, the body processes the memory. In an amazingly short time, the emotional imprint of that situation is gone. It can feel like magic because of the quick relief EmRes brings. But it's based on new understandings in modern neuropsychology. By addressing controlling behaviors and the situations that trigger them with EmRes, we process the old stuff that has gone deep into our subconscious. That same situation will not trigger that controlling behavior again – not ever. So: · When are you pushing others or yourself? · When are you imposing your authority when it is not your project or house? · When do you have to be right (about everything)? References 1. Why Anyone Would Want to Control You, https://psychcentral.com/blog/why-anyone-would-want-to-control-you 2. The 3 types of self-control, https://www.understood.org/en/articles/the-3-types-of-self-control 3. Who cannot control himself tries to control the others, https://psychology-spot.com/controlling-the-others/ 4. Controlling Behavior: Signs, Causes, And What To Do About It, https://www.supportiv.com/relationships/controlling-behavior-signs-causes-what-to-do 5. How to deal with Controlling People, https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/controlling-people 6. articles/controlling-people Image by ashish choudhary from Pixabay About Sue Sue Siebens uses Emotional Resolution, EmRes, to work at a fundamental level, where the roots of the illness, fear, and pain can be accessed and resolved. Sue teaches and writes to raise awareness about this new technology so that as many people as possible can find relief and peace in their life. Sue is based in Dallas, Tx, USA.

By Sue Siebens Fear-Based Behaviors show up in our lives in many and varied ways. Our emotions go silent when they are ignored or suppressed for long enough. They become behaviors driven by our subconscious. Often they feel normal and natural. They may feel appropriate for the given situation. We often associate them with our personalities. But it’s often our fears coming out. This is the third installment on Fear-Based Behaviors. (Read from the first post in the series here.) Our third topic in this series is Inhibition: Being Stopped by the Fear. In psychology, Inhibition is the conscious or unconscious constraint or curtailment of a process or behavior, especially of impulses or desires.[1] We need some inhibitions to live in a community with other beings. A person’s moral equilibrium, what is appropriate or not, and our self-esteem is maintained by unconscious prohibitions of a person’s personality.[2] Inhibition is also our most common limitation and obstacle, even if we believe we are relatively free of difficulties and live with these behaviors unaware of them. They can keep us from freely expressing our desires and natural abilities. They can diminish our full development and enjoyment of life.[2] Inhibition develops over a lifetime. Children can be withdrawn and develop avoiding behaviors at a very young age. Often these blocks are carried into adolescence, where withdrawing from unfamiliar people, situations, and objects becomes a more ingrained behavior. Teenagers are more aware of their social conditions and more likely to be intimidated in public, fostering potentially embarrassing issues. By the time individuals achieve adulthood, inhibited individuals are better at predicting uncomfortable social situations and generally have the agency to avoid them. Inhibitions that hold us back range from shyness to social anxiety and phobias, and all the life events in between. Anyone can be inhibited in daily life, with strangers or even friends. One’s sensitivity levels can depend on social cues throughout the day. [3] · Absence of any aggressiveness: Conflict avoidance, not being able to defend yourself verbally or otherwise, being taken advantage of at work, or allowing the invasion of personal physical space · Lack of expression: words, thoughts and gestures are restricted, spontaneity is limited, giving up before failure is even possible, not being able to promote yourself or share your story · Social withdrawal: making the effort to go to a party, but not being part of it once your there, introducing yourself to the host’s dog instead of new people, sitting silently with other non-joiners · Lost trust in others: being suspicious as a default, waiting for the betrayal, self-focus, few “true” friends and social contacts So how do we let go of our collected inhibitions and find more enjoyment in our relationships and activities? First, we have to recognize that change can be scary. But removing inhibitions doesn’t mean that we change who we are. It’s unlikely that we will become the extrovert “party guy,” the “big, loud talker,” or the “bossy know-it-all.” Don’t worry! Letting go of inhibitions means being more comfortable in your skin and thoughts in the presence of strangers or current challenges and being willing to engage socially without stress. The root of Inhibition is unprocessed memories from high-stress events in our life. High-stress events can contribute to leaving the in-flight emotions unfinished in some way. And they will remain in the body as an emotional memory or imprint. These become the triggered emotions we experience later. Emotional Resolution, EmRes, uses a natural ability to process emotions stuck in our body—the emotional imprints. Using interoception, observing physical sensations connected to emotions, EmRes gives the body time to resolve the unprocessed emotional imprint, removing the trigger. EmRes process does not explain why we have an emotional imprint. It employs the subconscious’ GPS to the root of the problem and metabolizes the neurotransmitters that got stuck. The triggering emotional memory is gone. It is not necessary to know how, when, where or why it got stuck in the first place. All emotions are linked to a situation. Emotions don’t just happen without some sort of stimulus, environmental or mental. Inhibition, like many emotional disturbances, may be triggered by many unique situations. With EmRes, the emotion-situations are addressed as they appear in current-ish life. EmRes is done either in the moment with EmRes-Self or afterward in session with an EmRes Profession. Just a handful of resolutions can make a big difference in how we feel when we are exposed to social challenges. So: · What situations make you lose your ground? · When do you give in, even if you are right? Even if it’s not the best choice—only a “safer choice”? · When are you frozen into inaction? Can’t or won’t do it? References 1. https://www.britannica.com/science/inhibition-psychology 2. Understanding and treating psychological inhibitions, Culsulta Beakeland, https://www.consultabaekeland.com/p/en/psychoanalyst-madrid-blog/understanding-and-treating-psychological-inhibitions.php 3. Social Inhibition, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_inhibition Photo by Russell Ferrer on Unsplash About Sue Sue Siebens uses Emotional Resolution, EmRes, to work at a fundamental level, where the roots of the illness, fear, and pain can be accessed and resolved. Sue teaches and writes to raise awareness about this new technology so that as many people as possible can find relief and peace in their life. Sue is based in Dallas, Tx, USA.

By Sue Siebens We continue the series with a second installment on Fear-Based Behaviors. (Read from the first post in the series here.) Many of our fears are not felt but are active below the level of consciousness. Our subconscious, aware of our unprocessed emotions, triggers these fears into actions and reactions. Our second topic in this series is Aggressiveness: Going Against the Fear. Even the word “aggression” can be triggering for some people. “Aggression is a behavior that is characterized by strong self-assertion with hostile or harmful tones. Aggression may sometimes be a normal reaction to a threat. It may also be abnormal, unprovoked or reactive behavior. Aggressive behaviors are directed at oneself, others, animals, or property. They can be verbal or physical. They can be premeditated and goal-oriented, or impulsive. They can be direct or indirect, overt or covert.”[1] Woof! And interestingly, the Diagnostic Manual of Psychiatry (DSM) does not list excessive aggression as a personality problem like other behaviors that go beyond “normal”: too much anxiety is generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), too much fear is phobias, too much concern for personal safety is obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), etc. Too much aggression? No diagnosis.[2] It seems to be lumped into “other” disorder responses. There is a difference between being assertive/self-assured and aggressive. Assertive is being confident and straightforward while respecting the opinions of others and their right to have those opinions. Aggression always assumes they are right and absolutely correct, being harsh and not respecting others’ opinions and rights.[3] Aggressive behavior can be a reaction at the moment or planned. Either way, the response is triggered. Each reaction depends on the person’s past high-stress emotions and the current situation. It’s personal and unique to them and what’s happening now. Physical aggression involves harming others physically—for instance, hitting, kicking, stabbing, or shooting them. Nonphysical aggression is aggression that does not include physical harm. Nonphysical aggression includes · verbal aggression (yelling, screaming, swearing, and name-calling) and · relational aggression is intentionally harming another person’s social relationships, for instance, by gossiping about another person, excluding others from our friendship, or giving others the “silent treatment.” Nonverbal aggression also occurs in sexual, racial, and homophobic jokes and epithets designed to cause harm. [4] If aggression is loud and visible, it is easier to identify. It’s the many quiet mental, emotional and verbal aggressions that may live more subtly in our lives: · Social aggression is like hitting with feelings - Gossiping about someone, excluding someone, threatening to end relationships, making facial gestures, and bullying.[5] · Passive-aggressive is indirect resistance to the demands of others and avoidance of confrontation, such as stonewalling, sarcastic comments, pretending to agree, deflection, silent sabotage, intentionally failing to follow through, making excuses, and any combination of these. [6] All these triggered reactions come from unprocessed emotions. Our subconscious speaks through our emotional body memories, asking for some relief. The current situation has reminded the subconscious that some emotional event in the past—maybe recently, maybe long ago—has unfinished business and needs to be cleaned up. These quiet aggressions build up the strain of life, little by little. Every time an irritant sparks an aggressive behavior, it adds an emotional pebble. That weight brings us down over time. If you are collecting stones from the time your eyes flutter open in the morning, your emotional gravel hauler will be outsized before long. You become more reactive because of this burden of stress. How do we lighten the load and find more peace in our life? We work on the triggers—those unprocessed emotional memories that keep springing to life in aggressive ways. Emotional Resolution, EmRes, uses a natural process called Viscero-somatic Quieting (or Somatric Quieting). The body, including the head, is where our emotions live. Viscero-somatic quieting starts with locating current emotions by feeling active physical sensations in the body. The mind is just reacting to the emotional information that these emotional, physical sensations represent. The mind unsucessfully tries to control them or to make them “go away.” It is the body’s job to hold and manage emotions, in the words of Lisa Feldman Barrett “Your brain keeps the score. Your body is the scorecard”. The fact that we have aggression in our behavior, large or small, tells us that something remains unfinished, for whatever reason. It’s time to clean it up. EmRes turns our attention to our unprocessed emotions. It gives the body time and space to finish cleaning up the emotional imprints left during high-stress events of our past. In an EmRes session, it uses current-ish situations as a GPS to stimulate enough subconscious recall to point the process to the triggering emotional imprint. EmRes is simple yet so effective. The work is deep and can tremendously change how we feel, react and behave. That gravel hauler will have less and less to carry. Life gets more stress-free and content. So: · What annoys you? · What situations make you angry or frustrated, make you roll your eyes, be snappy, want to be violent, or punch a wall? References 1. Aggression And Social Anxiety Among Young Adults ,https://www.researchgate.net/publication/356775497_Aggression_And_Social_Anxiety_Among_Young_Adults 2. On Aggression, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/dog-days/201612/aggression 3. What is the Difference Between Assertive and Aggressive, https://pediaa.com/what-is-the-difference-between-assertive-and-aggressive/ 4. PRINCIPLES OF SOCIAL PSYCHOLOGY – 1ST INTERNATIONAL H5P EDITION. Chapter 9. Aggression, https://opentextbc.ca/socialpsychology/chapter/defining-aggression/ 5. The etiology of social aggression: A nuclear twin family study, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7192661 6. 7 tell-tale signs of passive-aggressive behavior, plus how to respond and address it in yourself,https://www.insider.com/guides/health/mental-health/passive-aggressive Photo by Yogendra Singh on Unsplash About Sue Sue Siebens uses Emotional Resolution, EmRes, to work at a fundamental level, where the roots of the illness, fear, and pain can be accessed and resolved. Sue teaches and writes to raise awareness about this new technology so that as many people as possible can find relief and peace in their life. Sue is based in Dallas, Tx, USA.

By Sue Siebens Sometimes emotions are not felt. Suppressed emotions are expressed as behaviors. Often these are the soft emotional reactions and subtle ways we deal with our lives every day without much thought. Usually, they feel so “normal” that we assign these behaviors to our personality: introvert, extrovert, bossy, shy, controlling, etc. It feels like we have always been that way or reacted that way; It's an appropriate reaction –it's just how it is—how we are. This article is the first in a five-part series to explore the fear-based behaviors we all experience. Just because an emotion is not felt does not mean there is no impact on our life, happiness and contentment. In fact, in our Introduction to Emotional Resolution Class (LINK), we introduce our students to fear-based behaviors as suggestions for using Self-Emotional Resolution (Self-EmRes). The goal is to eliminate all emotions that drag us down, not just the big flashy ones. Fear-based behaviors are triggered by something in our immediate environment or social situation. They are our actions in response to fear, anxiety or panic. There is a difference between "I don't like it" versus "I don't like it because when I do, I get triggered.” For example, “I don’t eat spinach because I don’t like the taste/texture” versus, “I avoid spinach because I'm flooded with uncomfortable feelings when I see or smell it.” Our first topic in this series is Escape and Avoidance: Moving Away From the Fear. These are behaviors where a person does not enter a situation (avoidance) or leaves the situation once they have entered it (escape). Distraction is also an avoidance behavior because it's a way of not engaging.[1] These are our conscious or unconscious efforts to avoid dealing with a stressor to protect ourselves from the stressor's difficulties.[2] Avoidance shows up in our lives in several ways[3]: Situational Avoidance is the most common. Certain people trigger it, locations, activities, foods, animals or social situations that prompt panic or anxiety. People can see this in their lives as · Avoiding eye contact · Self-isolation · Lowering voice when speaking · Crossing the street, hiding in a restroom or leaving a gathering early · Avoiding certain social activities or canceling plans at the last minute · Not answering calls or text messages · Avoiding certain places and at certain times · Fear traveling or being on our own · Leaving jobs when a particular type of person shows up · Being afraid of public speaking and dropping a class, quitting a job or ditching an event when expected to speak in front of others Cognitive Avoidance avoids unpleasant thoughts or memories that are distressing. People will try to suppress or reject those thoughts to discharge undesirable or overwhelming feelings. · Forcefully trying not to think about it · Trying to numb out the unwanted thoughts · Constantly worrying about someone, something or some event to come · Compulsively repeating phrases, prayers, or positive affirmations Protective Avoidance uses excessive safety behaviors such as checking, cleaning, over-preparing or perfectionism. Obsessive-compulsive and eating disorders land in this category. As does procrastination. Somatic Avoidance gets our mind and body involved. Somatic Avoidance avoids the internal sensations associated with emotional distress: being out of breath, getting exhausted, and feeling hot. These are the well-known symptoms of anxiety and panic: shallow breathing, tightness in the chest, increased heart rate and sweaty palms. Someone may avoid even the normally pleasant sensations of excited anticipation of an upcoming event or sexual arousal because they feel too similar to being anxious. And finally, Substitution Avoidance is replacing one feeling with another, for example, replacing grief with anger or another more tolerable emotion at that moment. Numbing out is a form of substitution. Compulsive behaviors involving food, drugs and alcohol, sex and pornography, shopping or gambling are common strategies to feel something else. To be clear, there is nothing intrinsically wrong with many of the listed behaviors on their own. But if a person uses them to avoid or escape emotions, it won’t be successful--they are working against themselves. Coping mechanisms just push the feelings down the road—they don’t resolve or eliminate the triggering agents. Traditionally we believe that our mind is in control of emotions. But it is the body that is the emotional powerhouse.The mind only receives emotional cues and reacts in the way a cognitive mind does—with action, fight, flight, and freeze. The triggering agents are the unprocessed emotions that our bodies didn’t get a chance to work on when the feelings originally happened. In high-stress situations, the body temporarily suspends the job of cleaning up emotional cues/neurotransmitters to take care of more pressing business. The residual emotional imprints remain and can only be addressed by the body, not the mind. Emotional Resolution, EmRes, uses viscero-somatic quieting to allow the body to finish the emotional cleanup job. Resolving emotions with EmRes removes triggers the subconscious mind activates in reaction to cues from a person’s current situation/environment. The Avoidance/Escape behavior itself is the clue that an emotional trigger is buried and is asking to be resolved. There is no judgment or need to know about who, what, when, where, or why it’s there. It’s just the body saying, “there is some unfinished emotional business here,” and the mind misinterpreting that message as a current event. The event was in the past when the original emotion was left unprocessed. By resolving our Avoidance/Escape behaviors, we free ourselves to be present and find out what we honestly don’t like versus what we don’t like because it triggers us. So: · What actions, conversations, or situations are you escaping from or avoiding, resisting? · Where do you go out of your way not to do something or talk about it? · When you need wine, yoga, exercise, meditation, food, sex, gambling, gossip to relax from "it" or as a reward for "doing it"? References 1. Avoidance Behavior: Examples, Impacts, & How to Overcome, https://www.choosingtherapy.com/avoidance-behavior/ 2. Avoidance coping, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avoidance_coping 3. The Five Types of Avoidance, https://psychcentral.com/pro/the-five-types-of-avoidance#1 4. Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash About Sue Sue Siebens uses Emotional Resolution, EmRes, to work at a fundamental level, where the roots of the illness, fear, and pain can be accessed and resolved. Sue teaches and writes to raise awareness about this new technology so that as many people as possible can find relief and peace in their life. Sue is based in Dallas, Tx, USA.

By Sue Siebens Parenting is a tough job, even if you love it. Teaching our children all the life skills they need to be successful adults can be overwhelming. There are many details to parse into age-appropriate bites: · decision-making · health and hygiene · time and money management · maintaining a home · school and work skills · goal setting and working towards achievements And, of course, how to handle an emotional life that is uniquely theirs. There is no universal formula for parenting. Each child has different needs regarding just the right amount of attention, support, encouragement, and restraint. And those levels change as they move through different stages and sometimes through the day. We learn how to deal with emotions from our first family and support figures. Emotional regulating solutions are passed down through the generations. We are content when not experiencing a disruptive emotion; We are in equilibrium with our present environment. We each have a collection of coping mechanisms that help us reacquire calmness. And we try to teach these skills to our kids to help them face their fears, calm themselves down, and cheer themselves up. · Breathing exercises · Label the feeling · Positive self talk · Physical movement and exercise · Paying games and other mood boosters If we are honest, we know from our own experience that these strategies are a temporary relief. When the situational trigger happens again, the same triggered emotion will erupt again. Each repeated instance creates an incrementally larger reaction, making things worse over time. A Better Understanding Triggered emotions are unprocessed emotions from some past high-stress event. They are re-expressed when something in our current situation alerts our subconscious to a similarity with an unprocessed emotion. And a triggered emotion blooms up in us. We may think that kids haven’t had enough experience to have unprocessed memories. But that’s not true. Emotions are present in us from the beginning: in-utero and on. But we don’t develop cognitive abilities to interpret or understand these emotional messages until much later…if ever. Many emotions may not get processed fully during high-stress events and linger in the body as emotional imprints. Observe a newborn or toddler to see their high-stress emotions in action when they are not fed on time, it is nap time or time to share a toy. To be sure, high-stress emotional and physical events, that create unprocessed emotions can occur throughout our lives. But many are made during the birth process and the first 1000 days [1]. As a result, children have many unprocessedemotions that drive their emotional life. How can we help them? Emotional Resolution, EmRes, is a simple, yet powerful protocol that uses the body’s innate ability to process emotion, new or old. We just have to give the body the time and space to do the work. EmRes sessions access unprocessed emotions through recent triggered situations. Sessions are conducted by EmRes Professionals in a private, safe environment. EmRes-Self is conducted on oneself in the moment of the emotion, resolving the unprocessed emotion that is currently active. Children older than 11 can participate in EmRes sessions and learn EmRes-Self as adults do. They can manage their emotional life with a minimum of side coaching/reminders from parents and session work. Children ages 4-11, depending on their maturity level, can benefit from EmRes sessions and learn EmRes-Self. By working individually with them when they are experiencing an uncomfortable feeling, the child learns how to resolve their unprocessed emotions. It is not just tantrums. Kids have a full range of emotional expressions similar to adults, with fear heading the list. There are fears from external sources: o thunderstorms, o the dark, o scary movies, o being bullied, etc. and · from internal sources: o learning disabilities, o academic expectations, o test anxiety, o sports achievement, o feeling powerless and insecurity, o power and control issues, etc. It is challenging to navigate constant change socially and physically as a child. Remember, when a child is stressed and acting out, they are trying to tell us that something is wrong. Resolving emotional pain makes sailing smoother. EmRes is an invaluable tool for every child to have. As they resolve their emotional difficulties, they eliminate their fears and bring calmness and agency to their life. Who else needs the work? More often than not, when a child has an emotional episode, the parent/teacher/coach is also triggered by the behavior. They can experience a matrix of feelings. For example · loss of control · anger and frustration · inadequacy · worry · embarrassed · defensiveness · guilt · shame If the parent has an emotional response, it is impossible to be fully present for the child and their emotional healing. Answer: The adult needs to EmRes their own fear based emotional reactions before trying to help the child. It only takes 6-60 seconds, and the parent can then remind or assist the child through any EmRes-Self they need. When a parent/teacher/coach resolves their own emotions, it does two remarkable things: 1. the parent removes their emotional energy from the situation, making them more effective, and 2. the child sees the adult tending to their emotions, modeling a successful self-care strategy. Modeling good emotional hygiene is so powerful that it surpasses words. Actions always speak louder than words. What about kids under four years? We are all reflective of the emotional environment around us. Small children especially so. Remember, they are little emotional beings without the cognitive ability to understand it all. The best game plan is 1. Adults EmRes themselves, then 2. kindly hold the child or be in their space, and continue to EmRes yourself for both child and adult. The child will calm as the adult does. In fact, this is true of all kids and adults. If we are emotionally balanced by resolving emotions when difficult emotions are provoked in us—no matter how small, then we will not carry an emotional charge that will trigger someone else. When we uninstall our buttons, others will stop pushing them and vice versa. Can you imagine going through school, puberty and dating knowing the emotional self-care of EmRes? Our life choices would be far less distracting and confusing every step of the way! We can help our children with their emotional care and education. And in doing so we get to work on ourselves as well. Modeling emotional self-care is at the core of this work. Are you ready to provide emotional education and support in your child’s life—and to your own? Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash References 1. Boris Cyrulnik: Des Âmes et des Saisons About Sue Sue Siebens uses Emotional Resolution, EmRes, to work at a fundamental level, where the roots of the illness, fear, and pain can be accessed and resolved. Sue teaches and writes to raise awareness about this new technology so that as many people as possible can find relief and peace in their life. Sue is based in Dallas, Tx, USA.

Emotional self-care is our actions to manage our inner feelings and emotions. Most strategies we practice today only give temporary relief: breathing, exercise, wine, food, sex, sternly forcing ourselves to be present, avoiding the triggers altogether and so forth. Sometimes we think that knowing and understanding the root cause will somehow lessen the discomfort by attributing it outward. But these do not seem to deactivate future occurrences either. As humans, we all have emotions. We should accept our feelings, even the very uncomfortable ones, as a part of life. Once we simply and genuinely accept them, we stop experiencing them as pain or blocks. What stops us? Why do we hesitate to fully accept, painful, awkward emotions as just a small part of who we are? 1. "I am My Emotion." Our emotions can become our identity. Since our uncomfortable feelings seem to be with us “all the time”, they are sometimes seen as a large part of our personality and out of our control. And we believe our personality is a fixed thing, as unchangeable as the size of our feet. 2. The Sigma. Shame and fear are huge demotivators. Currently, our culture devalues people that display or share that they have emotional issues. So we hide and deal with it as best we can. 3. Lack of Awareness. We do not notice that every triggered emotion we experience in our day, large or small, stacks like a weight on our physical and mental wellbeing. Small stresses add up to significant burdens. Over time these added stressors will emerge in our lives as compulsive behaviors and contribute to chronic illness. 4. Fear of the Unknown. Even if a change is good, not knowing what we are trading for can hold us back. What will fill the vacuum of the resolved emotion? Something better? Something worse? 5. "I can reason myself out of this." As humans, our go-to move is to use our cognitive mind to figure out what our subconscious mind is doing. Otherwise known as the "if I just knew why or where these feelings came from, they would vanish on their own." If this strategy worked, I'd have no reason to write this blog, and we'd all be entirely emotionally regulated. 6. "If I am offended, it's the offender's fault." And the offender may be at fault. But the trigger belongs to us. It takes two to tango, and bullies need martyrs. Lose your triggers and stop being a target. And yes, the bully needs to work on their stuff too! But that is separate from the work we need to do. We are not our emotions! Emotional ghosts from our past make up a large part of our self-identity and reaction to any event or circumstance. Sometimes we identify with what we feel too closely: "I am angry/lonely/shy/depressed/broken/etc." When we exorcise these emotional demons, we uncover who we are—the unified self that is present and content in our current circumstances. Every emotion we feel is connected to the situation that triggered it. Our subconscious has linked something about the current environment with an unprocessed emotion for triggered emotions. This triangle, environmental stimulus, subconscious memory and emotional scar, keep the triggers on repeat. We can not do anything about the subconscious memory or the environments we find ourselves. They are out of our control. What we can change is the emotional body memory—the scar. Emotional Resolution, EmRes, uses the innate ability of our body to integrate emotions. Our body cleans up the neurotransmitters that signal we are experiencing emotion as naturally as breathing. But during high-stress events, our body may not have the time to do this cleanup, and the emotional signals remain as the emotional body memory/scar mentioned previously. Using a precise protocol, EmRes gives the body time and space to do the work that was left undone. When we have uncomfortable feelings, it is our body saying, “Hey, you have an unprocessed emotion here. Please do pay attention.” We can use EmRes to let go of these afflictions permanently. With Emotional Resolution, · My true character and genius are uncovered—my worldview shifts to solace and happiness. · I do not need to hide. I can honestly accept my emotions because they are not me—they are just old injuries. Not my fault, just my responsibility. · I work triggered emotions as I notice them, making my life clearer and more present. · Toxic relationships are not a part of my life. I don’t attract those experiences. If I react, then I have EmRes to work it out. · Resolving emotions is a great thing! I am no longer dragged down by demons from the past. · I don’t have to understand or know why I have these triggers. Just having them allows me to eliminate them. Are you ready to love who you are? Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash About Sue Sue Siebens uses Emotional Resolution, EmRes, to work at a fundamental level, where the roots of the illness, fear, and pain can be accessed and resolved. Sue teaches and writes to raise awareness about this new technology so that as many people as possible can find relief and peace in their life. Sue is based in Dallas, Tx, USA.

By Sue Siebens I grew up in the 1960s and 70s. In 1962 I was evacuated from Guantanamo Bay during the Cuban Missile Crisis. Raised in West Germany, I was just miles from the Iron Curtain with the Soviet power and threat it represented. The Cold War was part of the backdrop of my formative years, an ever-present menace. When the Berlin wall came down and eastern European governments shifted in 1998, I was an adult living in the US. It was so freeing and lifting to be relieved of the omnipresent peril. Thinking it was all behind us, that particular menace was put down and buried. But like all trauma, there are emotional memories that linger. These past days, as I watch my news feeds filled with Putin's invasion of Ukraine, I swing from fear of world war and compassion for the millions of people affected. My heart swells with pride for those defenders putting themselves in harm's way and angst for the families waiting for safety in makeshift bomb shelters and cold lines at border crossings. And I'm angry that there is more attention here than other conflicts around our planet (Mapped: Where are the World's Ongoing Conflicts Today?) It breaks little pieces of me, and I feel paralyzed at times. The past is back. It is now. Their suffering is very real. EmRes-is the best medicine I use the Emotional Resolution, EmRes. It is a method to process emotions from the past that are triggering up in the present. If I feel emotions well up as I watch video clips and news commentaries, I take a moment for this emotional self-care. It's not that I don't want to feel something. I want to be emotionally present, but I don't want my past experiences to cloud my now. Understanding where, how, and when some emotion(s) were left unprocessed by high-stress events in my past doesn't remove them from my life. The only thing I've found that works is EmRes. EmRes works on triggered emotions and meta-emotions. These emotions are secondary to the primary, instinctive emotional reaction of the moment (check out my blog Not all Emotions are Needed!). Primary emotions arise and fade in seconds—prompted by something we currently perceive. Secondary emotions (triggered and meta) are the emotions that last too long—evoked by unprocessed emotional memories. They keep us in fear, shame, sorrow, or whatever longer than a few seconds. They are the feelings that we don't want, generally speaking. As I view world events, from pandemic and terrorism to autocratic aggression, I use EmRes-Self to resolve the triggered and meta emotions that arise in me. EmRes-Self is an EmRes method for individuals to use on themselves for themselves. EmRes-Self access the emotional body memories awakened by the subconscious mind and processes them. The stressful reaction is released, and the emotional response is permanently integrated. The emotional body memory is gone—never to be activated again. If another trigger arises due to a different stimulus, I use EmRes-Self again. I work my way through the stress I feel as newsfeeds range through their stories over time. As a result, I don't feel as emotional, overwhelmed and paralyzed. I'm not distracted or stalled by the triggered emotions. I can think clearly about what is going on and what I can do to contribute or help. My balance is restored. I am unambiguous about instigators. I am compassionate and humanitarian in a clear and active way. Are you ready to let go of your past stress? Image by Alexas_Fotos from Pixabay About Sue Sue Siebens uses Emotional Resolution, EmRes, to work at a fundamental level, where the roots of the illness, fear, and pain can be accessed and resolved. Sue teaches and writes to raise awareness about this new technologies so that as many people as possible can find relief and peace in their life. Sue is based in Dallas, Tx, USA.

By Sue Siebens What do we do when our body does not comply with our ideals? Our society is fascinated with outward appearances—beauty standards that do not reflect anyone’s reality. Many ga-zillion dollar industries feed off our shame and individual intolerance of not living in bodies that meet these unrealistic ideals. We can find ourselves in a state of dysphoria, feeling uneasy or unhappy about our bodies. This doubt is likely to leak into other areas beyond the body, such as personal life and relationships, finance and work. Frequently, body image disturbances are accompanied by eating disorders and severe depression. In the extreme, this body discomfort is called body dysmorphia, the act of obsessively feeling that your body is flawed. Seeing your body differently than other people see it, a 100-pound woman that thinks she’s too fat is an example. Just to be clear, a sensible diet and exercise regime to maintain a healthy body is a good thing. But most of us have “friends” that may take it too far. Signs that body issues are present · Preoccupation with bodily appearance · Triggered by body discussions · Seeking the next best diet or exercise program · Strange eating behaviors—restricting certain foods, meticulous tracking, excessive supplements · Drastic changes in appearance · Drastic changes in personality · Unhealthy shifts to color all social interactions by how it will affect the diet and exercise regime If any of this is the case for you, then It’s time to take advantage of Emotional Resolution™. Emotional tension and stress are working against you. Researchers have found that stress causes increased cortisol levels. Cortisol impacts include [1] · Reducing the likelihood that you’ll follow a regular exercise routine · Hindering your recovery · Slowing down your fitness gains · Preventing weight loss Letting go of the emotional drivers in your life clears a path to make better, more consistent decisions about how we care for our bodies. Emotional Resolution™ or EmRes™ meets you where you are: what tension(s) are you manifesting NOW. What is potentially getting in the way of your best potential? There is not one correct answer. Just what comes to your mind first is an excellent place to start. You don’t have to know why or where the feeling or behavior comes from. EmRes uses current emotional tensions to clear up unprocessed emotions. In fact, when you have a triggered emotion or behavior, your body says, “Hey, you have an unprocessed emotion here that you might want to take care of.” It’s just like a sore sprained ankle or bleeding papercut; your body is giving you information. It’s our job to listen and take action. Unprocessed emotions are left in the body when high-stress events prevent them from being resolved in the moment. These emotional imprints can resurface as disruptive personality traits and behaviors when left long enough. Certain situations prompt emotions/behaviors to show themselves. EmRes uses a sensible yet straightforward process to resolve those emotional body memories, removing them in a radical way. Afterward, that situation will no longer activate the triggered emotion/behavior. What remains is clear thinking and a kinder, healthier relationship with your body. Are you ready to let go of body stress? References 1. 5 Surprising Ways Stress Affects Your Workout, Cindy Kuzma, https://www.shape.com/lifestyle/mind-and-body/5-surprising-ways-stress-affects-your-workout Image by Kenny Holmes from Pixabay About Sue Sue Siebens uses Emotional Resolution, EmRes, to work at a fundamental level, where the roots of the illness, fear, and pain can be accessed and resolved. Sue teaches and writes to raise awareness about this new technologies so that as many people as possible can find relief and peace in their life. Sue is based in Dallas, Tx, USA.